Love is a beautiful thing. Or so they say. Others say is comes in different forms – love for your mother, your father, your sister, your brother… It is different from the love you would have for your partner. Some say it’s the same in essence – it’s the same love directed to different people.

Is it just bliss? Or is it full of pain as well? The anger, jealousy, resentment, betrayal and sorrow are born from the same sentiment. It’s bittersweet.

Sometimes I’m scared. I feel love, of course. Towards family and friends. But never romance related. I never let myself to attach deeply. It is too dangerous… When I do, will it be as magical as they say? Will it be an out of body experience where my life would entirely revolve around another person? I don’t want that. I’d feel very much exposed; too vulnerable. I’m scared I’ll like it so much my heart will hurt – is that even true? Can a person feel as strongly to another as to even to hurt because of love? That is a question I want to know.

But then again, what about the heartbreak that comes after? I certainly don’t want to feel that. ‘You’ll never find out if you don’t give it a chance’, they say. ‘Don’t be a coward, live a little’, they say. But what happens if I don’t want to go through any more intense experiences where I feel my heart will simply burst? What happens if I am too scared to feel dependent on another person, too scared to feel betrayed and not wanted anymore?

Some say I only think the worst outcomes of something where there is much to live ahead of me. They tell me to take advantage of opportunities and live impulsively while I’m young. Well, I like to think before I act – always. But then, that kills the magic in life, doesn’t it?

They say if you live caged by your fears you might as well not live. A life without failure will not lead to success. Well then, Life, take me where I need to be. Courage will dictate my way…