I am Better

July 18, 2013
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Ever since he left I’ve been, numb. Pretending a smile, and feigning my happiness. I found myself burying my head in books, art, and music. I found myself becoming more of a person that I knew I could be. This was so life altering and confusing for me. I was supposed to be bereaved, cheerless. But instead I experimented in style, in food preferences and friendships. I was motivated to become stronger, emotionally and physically. I was happier then, than I was before.
It opened my eyes to bigger, brighter things! I now aspire to be writer, photographer, teacher, and model. I want to travel the world and document all the amazing sights and views. I took a break from electronics, and now have a friend I write letters too, who I could just as easily call on the phone.
I feel better. I look better. I know that without him, I am better. Which are all girls talk about wanting when they feel anything less than themselves. And that is a lot of girls, sadly. I have such an amazing life, I realized when he left.
He was such a nice guy…and I had the illusion of love. But when he was gone from my life I came to the conclusion that sure, he was a nice guy. But not what someone would call a “good guy”. In all his times of darkness I was there to comfort, and to provide him with assuagement. But the first single moment I wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, he couldn’t handle the new scene and decided to leave.
I have no bitterness towards him, none at all. At first, I was overwhelmingly sad. But one can’t be sad for so long, when there are so many other amazing, glorious things ruling that one, singular feeling out. I don’t regret meeting and knowing him. Nor spending so much time with one another, for it was enjoyable; a very good experience indeed.
People leave, and all you can do is move on and enjoy life to its fullest potential. You have to be excited for each day. I’m excited for today. I'm excited for tomorrow; no I don't know what is going to happen...anything can happen. I'm excited because I know I have what it takes to make it a great day for me, but even more excited because I will make it a great day for others as well. I know that no matter what happens I am rich in soul and I know that is all I need to be happy.

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