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You Should Go

This is the start of something beautiful. This is the start of something new. You have finally found the one that will make you want to lose it all. Everything you have ever known, everything you have ever been given you are willing to throw it all away for her and, only her. The one who makes you fall in love slowly and carefully, and then all at once. She is the earth you will stand upon and the delicate words you will unconsciously sing when you are drifting to sleep. When you find her, promise you will never hurt her and shelter her from everything and anything that opposes her. If she is damaged, finish the difficult job someone has left for you and fix her. Mend her heart until not even a single scar is left to show evidence of a broken one. Pick up all the little pieces and make sure not one is left behind and reassure her that it will never ever have to be fixed again. Make her believe it. Make yourself believe it. Dedicate your time to her because she is the most wonderful thing your uneventful life was so lucky to come across. Cling to her because she is the only one who can make you laugh when you are holding back the tears. She is the only own that knows when you say you are fine, you are lying. She is the only one who cares to hear every intricate detail in your life story. Stay with her because out of all the sweethearts you have ever had; she is the one you would ask for one more day to stay. Make no mistakes. Tell her you love her. Make her feel it too. Never let her forget how uniquely and completely beautiful she is. Never let her doubt for one second that she doesn’t absolutely look stunning today. Never let her leave without a kiss. Kiss her like you want to be loved and kiss her like the only thing you want is the taste that her lips allow. Seduce her mind and you can have her body. Find her soul and you can have her forever. Create something so breathe taking, so real and unexpected that it is almost as if a flower has sprouted its roots from concrete itself.
Let days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. Let her be secure in the knowledge that you will be together forever and let her rest in your consistency. Make her trust that you are not like the others. Make her assume as fact you would never dare to deceive her and your love will never fail her. Hold her hand in public and let everyone know that you are the luckiest man and that she is the most beautiful woman. Buy her flowers during the week. Do something extraordinary on holidays. Be the best you can be for her, and know that you can never be the man you want to be if she is not standing by your side. Know that all your happiness comes from the woman who lies with you every night. Hold onto every word she says and every touch she allows.
Let her go.
Leave her unexpectantly and without warning. Go back on all your promises and covenants. Don’t you dare give her a reason why. Tell her you simply don’t feel the same and lead her believe that you have lost feelings for her, for no reason at all. Lie. Don’t call her or speak to her for weeks on end. Be the king of mixed signals and she shall be the queen of second thoughts. Avoid her at all cost. Don’t think. Your thoughts will ruin your life. Sure she is everything you wanted but you will never really love her until she is gone. You are never cold until the sun goes down, you only hate the road when you’re missing home, and you only need the light when it is burning low. It would only make sense to assume you will never love your lover until you let her go. Do you feel that pain deep inside your chest; the pain that never leaves even when you manage to smile? The pain you feel at the edge of your mind or the pain that hurts worse than any physical agony you have endured? That is her. Most importantly that is the undying love for her. You told her your love was like a fairy tale but if this was a movie she’d be here by now. Now for sure you know you love her. All those feelings and thoughts and amazing moments; they were real. When you told her she was perfect, you meant it with everything you had and in everything you gave. You surrendered yourself to someone who was worthy of the gift. Even though it wasn’t much to you it was everything to her. Loving her was like trying to change your mind when you are already in the decided free fall. Through all the things you have done you know you will love her better now if given the chance. But no chance will ever be given. You became everything you promised you wouldn’t. But you can’t change, even if you tried, even if you wanted to. You only love your lover when she’s gone. You can never love someone more than you can miss them.



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