Have you ever felt afraid of connecting with someone, afraid to make eye contact for fear of finding who you’re supposed to find? Afraid because you’re scared, scared because you’re afraid, afraid of all the things that could be. Because that person you connect with could be the person who changes everything and you don’t know if you’re ready for that yet? Can you ever be ready for that? You may just have to take the chance you get, your opportunity it may be the only one to come. You may have to dive headfirst into it blindly just to live the opportunity you were given. To give happiness and what’s supposed to be a try. But have you ever been afraid of hurting someone? Or getting hurt? This may be why you fear finding that connection with someone, because that very connection could start something, something that just results in pain and hurt in the end. No good thing ever lasts, you tell yourself this and know that pain must be the punishment for the happiness that you felt, or never felt for fear of feeling itself. But isn’t pain felt better than feeling numb? Better than never feeling at all. You know that the pain was worth it since you felt that much happiness, and the ending was worth it because you felt the beginning. Everything felt, every feeling, never regretted because for a short while you felt it all. You were imperfect and confused with someone who was the same, and you confirm you were imperfect because you were ever, at one point, afraid.
September 26, 2012