EX LOVER | Teen Ink


September 10, 2012
By ESKAYSHA SILVER, Auckland, Other
ESKAYSHA SILVER, Auckland, Other
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
NEVER judge a person by EXTERNAL appearances

I remember when we first met when we THOUGHT that we would be friends forever and that nothing would ever come between. HOW stupid were we to believe that THEORY
of us being in SYNC??
FROM childhood friends to lovers resulting in one against the other.
Loving and hating denying each other
Becoming tight with your mother and you talking to my brother
EX LOVER. . . I remember when we broke up
I was out of luck , SENDING my friends as spies to see who you picked to like. not because i was jealous but because
i realised that i was still in love with you
Even though i didn't want to be
my mind was telling me different to what my heart believed
I can see how you walk around with your head down
every time you pass me you never once look at me
NOW i totally accept the fact that we will never be
It don't matter to me ... I can still walk around with thoughts running me to the ground endlessly
I forgive you for your cruel words your worst description of me
your bad thoughts and WISHES against me
I have learnt to set myself free
FREE from the hurt free from the scars and pain in the cracks of my heart
but that will never match up to how i felt about you and what you put me through
I consider you a lesson learned so that i can never let myself go through that again
I remember when you left me for someone different
I looked at the picture i had of you and said f*** you
I was so hurt that day that words escape me .
Questions debated with me.
I can not describe how i felt when you were the one to leave
I want to stop chasing your memory that i hold deep in my dreams
My heart is filled with question marks
Apologies are like oxygen masks on an aeroplane
I forgive myself before I ever think of forgiving the person next to me
I will never regret loving in permanent ink
cause your love i do not and will not regret
My heart and a stop sign are like eternal twins lost in the mix of open roads
that are miles long.
But that's why i have friends ..
Friends with the hearts filled with fire flies
Friends with the arms who I can cry in
Friends with the words who can turn my sad days
in to lessons learnt
EX LOVER can you see
the pain and suffering this breakup caused me?
It may have partly been my fault
But our relationship was a 2 way street.
If my friends ever see me look like
shattering glass
i will tell them about you
I hoped to never know what a goodbye kiss feels like
and I HOPED and prayed that i would never know what a breakup could do
BUT NOW I KNOW . and i cant erase that
SO EX LOVER . where ever you are
and for whatever reason you hate me for
YOUR hatred can never match up to
the emotions to the FEELING that are in the cracks of my heart
it can never be healed unless the one who put the cracks there
can fix it ...
I do not want you back
I do not need you anymore
you have taught me that this is something i never want to search for
SO THANKYOU . you have made me stronger than i ever was
If we could ever peace things
My heart will still remain in pieces and my trust
will forever be weakened.
so thank you EX LOVER
this is goodbye to our childhood memories
this is goodbye to what was once a relationship
this is goodbye to what was thought an endless love story
this is goodbye to us

The author's comments:
I wrote this after my breakup with a boy that I loved . We dated for 4 years.I just wanted to share this and see what other people think.
I am a pacific Islander and no one knows I write this stuff .
Hope you like it.

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