These days I found myself talking to my own. I was literally talking to myself in my room, in the kitchen, in the garden. I was talking to imaginary people laughing with them until my father caught me smiling on my own. I’ve never thought about it that way but my loneliness is driving me mad. I feel so stupid and useless. Asking questions I get no answers for, expecting thing that will never come, hoping for dreams to come true whipping away tears I kept inside for too long. Since he slipped thru my fingers, I can’t stop skidding. I’m getting to the edge of my reason and feelings I’m pretending to love him while I KNOW I don’t. I’m pouring salt on my own cuts. I am so tired, exhausted. Life is restless to me, I choose to cry and let it go, I just hate the way this feels.
Diary Of a Broken-hearted Girl. Part two: LONELY
July 31, 2012