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A Balancing Act

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I find myself at this point exiting a very complicated relationship. Despite the fact that our relationship was indeed quite perfect, it was the situation that led to our downfall. Among the many entangled family problems that she had to deal with, her father had told her that, after meeting me once, that she can never see me again and that she should not date, in order to continue her intense pursuit (That her parents had placed upon her) for college undisturbed. Despite that fact that we did our best to continue our relationship, seeing each other every so often and talking constantly, our relationship was forced to end. This brings to question something we may not think about unless it is beaten over our heads: Along with the difficulties of maintaining a relationship, how can we effectively balance both the life, problems, and ambitions of are partner and ourselves, along with enjoying the romance itself?

It’s a complicated question. Many teens, including myself, get so caught up with the relationship itself that we tend to get tunnel vision, seeing nothing else but our life with our partner. I have never been happier than the time I had with my girlfriend. But it also made me almost oblivious to everything else in my life, because I wanted to focus on her. Similarly, her relationship with me brought long nights on the phone, sneaking out behind her parents back, and focusing on the relationship perhaps a bit too much. These were all her decisions that she made herself.

However, life always comes into play. In a family that was, to be quite honest, incredibly strict, and goals that had been set upon her that required an insane amount of concentration, it became a difficult situation. Her father had immediately shirked off any idea of a relationship by placing a huge restriction on her. The odds were not in our favor. While we wanted to enjoy our relationship, we couldn’t ignore the realities of our lives. Many teens face the same problem, although in many different ways. Does a guy spend time with his girlfriend, or time with his friends? Study or talk? Please the parents or please oneself? There are numerous problems that we must balance when it comes to a relationship.

So the question arises, how do we effectively balance our lives and our lives together? Certainly we can’t ignore our lives completely. But do we want to focus on it so much that we have to abandon the relationship? Sadly, in my situation, she chose not to balance anything and instead do the practical thing. And while it hurts me terribly, I wonder really how much of life should we give up for a relationship, and how much of a relationship we should give up for our life? Complete romance or complete logic? Of course, there needs to be a balance. Many teens choose complete romance, which opens a whole new door of problems that I don’t want to get in to. But what about complete logic? Should we give up all romance to focus on the pressures of daily life? I’m not sure either of those extremes is right.

Romance and life are a balancing act. There must be a relationship between the two. We can’t ignore our life just because we have a girlfriend or boyfriend. And we can’t refuse to ever like someone just because there are other things in our lives. After almost a year, I would dare to say I love that girl, both as a friend and a girlfriend, even after the relationship has ended. Maybe we misbalanced. But how do we create and maintain that balance anyway?



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