It's funny how things change...

There’s this crazy thing called love. Now, I can tell you right now, I have yet to experience it. Although, there is a good chance I’m on my way. We’ve all seen the movies, the happily ever afters. Love at first sight, kissing in the rain. Big fights lead to making up and walking off in the sunset. That’s all too good to be true, all fantasy. I know this, because I’ve seen divorce first hand. I’ve seen the bad side of the love, the fallout of marriage. The fighting and yelling. It hurts, to see those you love in pain. But it makes you stronger, makes you realize sometimes things just don’t work out. On the other hand, I’ve seen love work. I’ve seen two people, look at each other with such adoration, such happiness. I’ve read the texts, the letters. Seen the presents, the looks on their faces. And I know that love is real, and yea, it’s hard to find. Once you do though, it’s worth it. Worth the wait, worth the heartbreak. Late nights crying, long days wishing. None of that matters, when you find someone who feels the same. I don’t know what it’s like to be in love, I haven’t lived it. I haven’t felt it. Not yet. What I have done, is found someone who cares about me. Someone who wants to spend time with me, when I’m being myself. Someone who seems to get me, understand me. He makes me smile, and when I kiss him, my heart skips a beat. I find myself smiling for no reason, then I realize I’m thinking of him. The way he holds my hand, or snuggles with me on the couch. Even the way he talks to me, teasing or not. I know he wants to be with me, even if we won’t say it straight out. He knows I can be a little crazy, dare I say it weird, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I don’t have to pretend, act like someone I’m not. The way I feel when I’m with him, can’t even be described. He makes me laugh, and makes my day brighter. I look forward to seeing him. Riding in his truck. Even when we don’t talk, I’m comfortable being with him. We can be doing anything, nothing, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I never thought I would feel this way, never thought I would find someone like him. Honestly, I had never pictured myself with him. We had been friends for so long that I forgot to think of him as anything more. Then one day it hit me, I had liked him, all these years. For some reason, I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, especially not myself. But now, now I’m so glad I did. He’s nice to me, he treats me right. He isn’t embarrassed to be seen with me. Sure he’s a little shy, but to me, it’s cute. Holding me close, catching me when I fall. Laughing at me when I try and be funny, or when I’m not. The times when I tease him, pretend to be mad, he makes sure I’m okay. Whether I’m kidding or not, he has to be positive. Everything about him makes me realize how lucky I am. And I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t love him. That doesn’t mean I never will, in time. I won’t rush things, that ruins everything. Taking my time and moving slow is how I want to go. This one, him, he’s special. I don’t have to try and impress him, go out of my way to make him notice me. He likes me just the way I am, and that’s the best quality. He would never ask me to change, or act “normal”. He accepts me for me, he likes me for me. What more could I ask for? Love is out there, that much is true. Granted it doesn’t always work out, I'm learning that that is okay. Not everyone gets it right the first time, but eventually they do. As for me, I’ve made many mistakes. But being with him, being with the one I have now, was the best decision I could have made. Who knows, maybe in time I can say I love him.





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