Each time I see you I'm reminded more of the hurt that is deep within me, screaming to break loose and boil up to the surface as tears. But I cannot cry. I cannot show how weak I actually am, for then you would question me. You have nary a clue of how envious I am. Never have I experienced such strong emotions of jealousy, depression, and at times, anger. Where was the anger born? Not a clue that I acknowledge. Yet the unplaced feeling still continues to ruin my days, weeks, months...

I wish I could tell you. The last thing my weak wall of mental and emotional strength could handle at the moment, is losing another friend. I know now that if I had told you beforehand, I wouldn't hurt like I do now. I regret this fact entirely.