Stop Settling | Teen Ink

Stop Settling

October 12, 2011
By torim BRONZE, Germantown, Tennessee
torim BRONZE, Germantown, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Settling is something that I’ve found very common in the USA in not only the
21st century, but beforehand as well. To some people, settling means establishing a
home, or finding their place in life. While settling is among us everywhere, in kids
and adults, I have a different idea of settling in mind.

When I was a young girl, I always kept big dreams in my head. One of the
main dreams I was constantly encountering was my desire and vision to grow up,
marry a prince, and live happily ever after. A lot of this stimulation came from
books and movies, and I knew one day that I would fulfill this dream. However,
growing up and realizing that life is no fairy tale definitely crushed my spirits.

I soon discovered upon entering school, that the male species is a complex
one. I was not expecting this, considering most of the guys I had seen in movies had
shiny blonde hair, pristine personalities, and always knew the right thing to say.
Being as naïve as I was, I believed that I would find someone like this, even as a
young girl. However, this vision in my mind proved to be contrary to what
reality looked like. I had a whole new vision in mind.

The middle school years continued to prove my dream wrong. The only guys
I experienced were crude, selfish, and arrogant ones. Almost every day, a guy would
make a nasty comment about me or one of my friends. I had always seen bullying as
a guy punching a guy, or a girl saying she didn’t like another girl. Bullying now had a
whole different meaning. I spent many a night crying in my bedroom, wondering
why it was that guys didn’t like me. From what I could tell, I had done nothing to
them. I was haunted continuously by the question, “What can I do to make them like
me?” This was an extremely difficult time for me, because I was putting so much
effort into trying to make things better for myself. The support system I had from
friends was small, because they had grown so immune to the harassment from guys.
I realized that I had grown immune to it as well, and slowly started to believe that all
guys were like this.

Too many girls, particularly adolescents, are settling. I firmly believe that all
girls, no matter what life they live, deserve someone who cherishes them for exactly
who they are. Girls have grown so immune to the harassment and immaturity, that
they come to the conclusion that all men have these mindsets and personalities. This
is completely false, and this common opinion of girls needs to change. It took me
quite a while to realize that nice guys do exist. I believe that it is extremely
important that these innocent girls know that they are beautiful and valuable
exactly the way they are. Self worth does not come from whether or not you get
an arrogant guy’s approval. It comes from appreciating yourself, and the
appreciation you receive from people who genuinely care about yourself.
Someone who is perfect for you is out there somewhere, probably wondering where
you are. This guy is someone who will love and cherish you unselfishly and
unconditionally. The only thing you have to do is stop searching, stop settling, and
wait.


The author's comments:
I was inspired to write this piece because I feel that this issue of sexism in teens are not as popular as they should be. While self worth is seen as important to girls, people seem to forget that their self worths are torn down by guys, not just girls.

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