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Why Teen Sex Is Totally Fine

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The other day, I was chatting with one of my best friends. She mentioned casually that she was going to have sex, for the first time, with her boyfriend of four months.

A bit taken aback, I asked, "Are you... ready?"

"Yes," was her simple reply. We moved on, switched topics, started talking about something else.

The problem with this situation is that it doesn't happen often enough.

In America, teenage sex is made out to be a Big Deal. This is due largely to the religious undertones of our nation, of God-fearing people who adhere to the Bible's call for abstinence. I feel as if I need to remind everyone that America is not a theocracy. Thus, any conservative religious values should not be imposed upon us. People are allowed to have their own opinions, yes; but they fail to see that sex is a natural part of human life. As natural as breathing, eating, sleeping. Teenagers are just as human as any of us -- so why, then, should sex be denied to us based solely upon our age?

True, a lot of our decisions are made spur-of-the-moment. The adolescent brain is still largely developing. As a result, all adolescents are generalized against, morphed into shady, flaky characters who cannot be trusted to think for themselves. Of course, this means that other authoritarian figures should think for us, decide for us.

...Right? Wrong.

Having sex is not a Big Deal. True, it comes with many strings attached. People often use the "teenage pregnancy" argument. The solution for this is simple: educate our children in the practice of safe sex. Condoms and birth control work wonders. Those who preach abstinence fail to realize that, even if they tell their kids not to have sex, the kids shall do it anyway. Since when has telling teenagers not to do something ever worked? As teenagers, we feel a need to grow independent, break away from our parents, to rebel. If we are forbidden to do something, obviously we are going to engage in it.

Sexual intercourse is not bad, evil, or "unpure", as it is often made out to be. It is, in fact, quite the opposite. Sex elevates your mood, induces euphoria, satiates your innate need for it, satisfies your hormones. You are not obligated to have sex with someone you're in love with. You can have sex with whoever you want, wherever you want, whenever you want. Sex and love are not interchangeable. While it is, in fact, a wonderful experience to have sex with someone you are in love with, it shouldn't be restricted to only that.

It all rests upon the individual's choice. The choice you make to have sex or to not have sex, to have sex with someone you love or to have sex with ten different people you like. And there's nothing wrong with either of those options. Most, if not all, humans will have multiple sexual partners in their lifetime. Just because you're in your teenage years doesn't mean you're somehow not entitled to the perks that the rest of humanity is.

Another argument against this is that you should "wait until marriage." That somehow, having sex violates the perceived "sanctity" of marriage. Yes, this is yet another illogical belief fostered by religious motivations. We are supposed to turn against our natural instincts for... what? To be "pure"? Why is abstinence the symbol of "purity"? Furthermore, why should it be? And why should anyone be obligated to adhere to it, just because someone else says so?

Frankly, if you're going to have sex and you're a teenager, I wish you luck. There's nothing wrong with it -- not in the least. All I am advocating is to do it safely: use condoms, always, and birth control, if possible. Make sure that neither you or your partner have any STIs. Make sure that you are comfortable enough with your partner to engage in intercourse. And I can assure you that everything will turn out fine.



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This article has 29 comments. Post your own!

sunnyhunny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 9, 2013 at 2:18 pm:
I am really glad to see this article!  You are very articulate and I like that you included arguments that people might have against you.  I beleive that s.ex before marriage is totally OK.  I don't necessarily think that we should go around and have s.ex with just anybody, because there can be emotional ramifications.  I know that you weren't implying that people should do this, but rather saying that we should be less judgemental of others for their sexual decisions... (more »)
 
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. said...
Oct. 31, 2012 at 4:31 pm:
This is extremely well-written and I agree completely! I think there should be more people like you defending teenager's free choices! Great piece.
 
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Alice-Love said...
Aug. 26, 2012 at 8:12 pm:
You're writings good. But I totally disagree with you. No offense but you've inspired me to write an essay on why it's wrong. Check it out if when I'm done. : )
 
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loveroffashionandwritingThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 3, 2012 at 9:15 pm:
This is an amazing persasuive essay, very detailed and well though out. Even though I only agree with you to a certain extent... I found the artcile very persasive Great Job:)
 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 3, 2012 at 9:34 pm :
 Thank you very much!
 
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DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiast said...
Feb. 10, 2012 at 4:03 pm:
I don't agree with this article at all. I'll tell you why when I calm down, because it will sound all jumbled and confusing if I try to explain myself in this state. Im just really scared and frazzled, because I see now that this issue is really serioys. I didnt know so many people agreed with this kind of behavoir. I just need to clear my head for a minute. Im sorry, but you have amazing writing skill, I have to say, I just don't agree with your opinions
 
DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiast replied...
Feb. 10, 2012 at 4:06 pm :
*serious, sorry
 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 8:14 pm :
It's okay, I won't jump on you for having a divergent viewpoint (I appreciate the debate it causes). Could you tell me why you disagree with the article?
 
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spirahemmanuelle said...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 11:21 am:
This is a wonderful article! I completely agree with it in every way. Rock On, you're a great writer, and you express your opinions very well!
 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm :
Thank you very much!
 
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Nick5 said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 7:17 pm:
It's all about picking up a pencil and writing. Without words, the world is a lost cause.
 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 12, 2012 at 8:15 pm :
I agree. :)
 
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Nick5 said...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 6:05 pm:

Wow, good writing, good article. I liked how somebody finnally took the side of of the ones "doing it". Not that I would, but I hate how most of the articles say certain things are "bad", I know they are opinions and but still...

Anyways good work! You are very talented.

 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 23, 2011 at 7:06 pm :
Thank you! Yeah, I got tired of all the "s.ex is bad, blah blah blah" articles. I think it's perfectly fine.
 
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Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 7:52 pm:

I'm ashamed of myself. How could I have been so painfully brief? Let me expand a bit.

First off, just like Savetheplanet said, it's quite a good article; I just find myself disagreeing with it (respectfully, of course! :) One thing I see that irks me a little is how you gave a bit of a negative connotation to religion, the kind of "goody two shoes" reputation teens love to slap onto Christianity. It's a lot deeper than that.

About a year ago; I had pretty much the same opin... (more »)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 7:57 pm :

Whoops. Sorry for the double comment. Oh, and I didn't even notice you're the one who wrote 'Body Heat!' Awesome poem, again.

Even though I disagree with you, I respect what you're trying to do. I, as well, think that it's kind of ridiculous what some adults do to censor s.ex out of our minds. It's a natural thing, after all.

 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 3:17 pm :

Thanks for the input. I didn't mean to give a negative connotation to Christianiy itself, but just to the people who staunchly believe a.bstinence is the way, simply because of their religious upbringing. A.bstinence has proven time and time again to be ineffective, and really, where else do you see it practiced than in a religious connotation?

Personally, I would not have s.ex without an emotional connection. But I will defend the right to have s.ex without an emotional connection, be... (more »)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 30, 2011 at 6:18 pm :

That's fair of you to say.

Yes, there certainly is a right.

But, I hope you don't mind my saying, that just because there is s.exual desire doesn't mean that it should instantly be satisfied. But, of course, if anyone feels differently, they have absolute freedom to do as they wish.

 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 5, 2011 at 7:55 pm :
Yes, I agree with that final statement.
 
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savetheplanet said...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 2:52 pm:
Honestly, you have a well-written article.  But I can't say I support your ideology.  Perhaps my views come from religion, it's possible.  I don't consider myself the most religious person around so it's possible it's not.  I think that it should be a decision made by the people invovled and I agree, always have safe s.ex.  Bir.th con.trol is something I'm a big supporter of.  But s.ex shouldn't just be pleasure, in my opinion.  You are allowing someone to shar... (more »)
 
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