Asexuality exists.

August 8, 2011
By , Millbrae, CA
In television, film, literature, and music there are rarely characters who are asexual (people who do not experience sexual attraction. This is why I find it relieving to see an asexual on The Big Bang Theory (the character Sheldon Cooper). However, there are fans of the show who want Sheldon to have sex and form sexual relationships with other characters; sex is just something that is expected. Although sex is an important part of life, it is still possible and OK to be an asexual. It is important that asexuality is seen in fiction and in the media so that more people can learn about asexuality, and asexual people can understand that there are other people like them.

The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network defines an asexual as “a person who does not experience sexual attraction”. Asexuals can still be strait, gay, or bi because they can desire romantic relationships (though there are some people who do not experience romantic attraction). Some asexuals are in romantic relationships with sexual people, and they can choose to have sex as a compromise with their partner.

I was surprised when I heard about some of the negative reactions that asexuals receive when they speak about their asexuality. At first I didn’t understand how anyone could have a problem with asexuality – to me the concept of not liking sex seems very simple and possible – but there are still some people who do not accept that other people are different. Some say that sex is a very pleasurable experience and that asexuals are missing out. However, asexuals are satisfied with their lives, and there are many other pleasurable experiences besides sex. Asexuals have also been told "it's just a phase" and "How can you know you wouldn't like it if you haven't tried it?”. Asexuals respond by explaining that heterosexuals and homosexuals can know their sexual orientation before having sex with both genders because they know which gender they desire sex with, just as asexuals can know that they are asexual because they know that they don’t desire sex. Also, most asexuals who have had sex ended up not enjoying it.

It is frustrating for an asexual to be told that asexuality does not exist; they are being told that what they are feeling is not possible. Asexuality needs to be talked about more in order for asexuals to know that there is nothing wrong with them.





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Samaiya This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 9, 2011 at 8:03 am
Thanks for your article!  I'm asexual, and I really appreciate it when others try to be aware and understand the issue.
 
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