Equal Marriage

June 13, 2011
By Hippiealien SILVER, Fair Oaks, California
Hippiealien SILVER, Fair Oaks, California
7 articles 5 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
A Idea and a number 2 pencil can take you anywhere.


It's in the news.Heard all over your school campus. Even in books.

Equal Marriage.

You get the strong believers that say;No Gay marriage. It's a sin,It's wrong. They start slamming Bible verses down..but have they ever thought of the fact that Jesus said that those who Judge is Equally of sin? No they don't,all they see is a perfectly happy gay couple,and immediately start going "Oh these people are sinning".

My personal Opinion on all of this is,They are not hurting you or others why get upset? Their happy,their not going around saying"Man and woman marriage is wrong" are they? so let them be married and happy,let them have a family.

I mean you Hear constantly about teens who commit suicide because someone herd they are gay or lesbian or even Bi,and they were teased merciless. Seriously,to the point they didn't want to be alive anymore. How sad is that? they wont ever get married,have kids whether it is through adoption or what not.They don't get to do there dream job,all because someone felt they needed to tease them because they were gay.

Adult gay couples can receive the same amount of hate. It's sad how people treat others,Shouldn't everyone receive the same amount of equality and be treated the same? Isn't that the reason why we have America to a point? So we could have freedom for religion,so we could have freedom in Law and who rules America? Everyone should be treated the way you would want to be treated,with freedom to do what you want and Equality.



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This article has 9 comments.


on Aug. 7 2011 at 11:36 am
Hippiealien SILVER, Fair Oaks, California
7 articles 5 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
A Idea and a number 2 pencil can take you anywhere.

Thank you! :)

julian GOLD said...
on Jul. 20 2011 at 2:52 pm
julian GOLD, Eugene, Oregon
17 articles 17 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
The goal is not about living forever, the goal is about creating something that can.

Your passion on this topic clearly shows through in your writing. Beautiful work, I love how you discussed the simple reasons as to why we need to accept gay marriage. You also provided some excellent examples to support your opinion. So it was good! It sounds like you've already heard the grammar spiel a lot, so I won't rub it in, but like WritingSpasms, I'm going to give it 4 out of 5 stars. But that still means I like it!

on Jul. 14 2011 at 3:23 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

I like the way you present this, and you do a pretty good job of giving examples and such, but I do have to agree with CarrieAnn13 about the spacing and capitalization. That's the thing that bothered me the most in this piece. Everything else was good. :)

on Jul. 11 2011 at 9:58 am
tikapeek97 BRONZE, Waterboro, Maine
2 articles 1 photo 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"good things come in small packages" =)

Your article was well written. I personally don't agree with what it was about. I beleve that one man and one woman should get married, but all together it was well written

on Jul. 2 2011 at 5:37 pm
Hippiealien SILVER, Fair Oaks, California
7 articles 5 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
A Idea and a number 2 pencil can take you anywhere.

No problem,thanks for the help. I noticed that when it got approved that I didn't bother with editing.. -.- lol

on Jul. 2 2011 at 5:36 pm
Hippiealien SILVER, Fair Oaks, California
7 articles 5 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
A Idea and a number 2 pencil can take you anywhere.

Thanks,and yes i noticed right when it got approved that i didn't go over and edit o.o lol

on Jul. 2 2011 at 4:49 pm
WritingSpasms, Los Angeles, California
0 articles 0 photos 121 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Devils run when a good man goes to war."
- River Song from Doctor Who (Ep. A Good Man Goes to War)

It was nice that you stated the positives of equal treatment and the negatives of unequal treatment. I liked how you presented the opinions of the opposers of equal marriage and the defendants of equal marriage. And you were very strong when it came to expressing your opinion :)

Overall, I'll rate it four out of five stars because of some incorrect grammar usage that someone else already mentioned. No point in me repeating. Forgive me! I'm such a grammar geek! xD


on Jul. 2 2011 at 4:46 pm
WritingSpasms, Los Angeles, California
0 articles 0 photos 121 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Devils run when a good man goes to war."
- River Song from Doctor Who (Ep. A Good Man Goes to War)

So the positives. You showed the sides of those who opposed gay marriage and those who defended gay marriage quite well. You spoke your opinion also, which was very important and very good. You spoke of the benefits of equal treament for gays and bis, and the negatives of unequal treatment (the suicides and other stuff).

Overall, I liked it. I'll give you four out of five stars, because of some incorrect grammar usage. I think they've already been mentioned by someone else. Forgive me, but I'm such a grammar geek. xD


on Jul. 2 2011 at 3:31 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1648 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Okay, first of all, I’ll give you criticism, then I’ll say what you’re doing right.

1.  Work on your spacing.  There are two spaces between a period and the next word and there is one space after a comma, colon and semicolon.

2.  You don’t need to capitalize ‘judge’, ‘equally’, ‘opinion’, ‘hear’, ‘bi’, ‘shouldn’t’ and ‘law’.  These words are not proper nouns and are not at the beginning of a sentence.  Capitalizing them is distracting and takes away from the quality of your writing.

3.  “Their happy,their not going around saying…”  You used the wrong word.  It should be ‘they’re’ because you are saying ‘they are’ rather than indicating possession. ‘herd’ should be ‘heard’ because we are not discussing cattle, we are discussing hearing something.

4.  You are stating your opinions very clearly, but you may want some more facts to back it up.  Once you get the mechanics of your writing mastered, you need to work on your arguments a bit.  Get scientific data and statistics, especially about the teen suicides.

Okay, I think that’s it.  I’m not launching a personal attack against you, I’m just trying to help you with your writing.



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