Relationships

March 25, 2011
By , ALpine, UT
In fairytales, it is always happily ever after. In chick flicks, the girl finds Mr. Right every time. And in reality TV shows, their soul mate happens to be this person that they pulled off of the streets. We are taught this from the day we are born, being held in our parent’s arms, we are born from love and from a relationship. But there is a reason that we call it a fairytale, a movie, or “reality” tv, they aren’t like real life. We are stuck in this fantasy and we believe love to be something that it is not, something society has made it, this happens as a result of the idea America has given us, because of that idea, we ultimately have too much failure, and then we must fix it.

In America we have this idea that happily ever after is right there if only we will reach out and grab it. Think about the romantic movies you have seen in last month. I don’t know of one that I can think of one that has ended with the girl not getting her man. And of course, who would want to see a movie like that? This is the angle that the media is selling to us. To them it’s just making money and doing their job. Whereas to us it is engraving the idea of unrealistic romantic relationships. The media is manipulating our minds and as Americans we are literally “buying” the material that in the future has potential to ruin relationships if we let the fantasy go too far.

Let’s take twilight as an example of pages and pages of words that are eating away the reality of relationships in millions of teen girls’ minds. Globally, there have been around 100 million copies of the Twilight novels sold. When they have an Edward they still are wanting for a Jacob. Nothing is ever good enough. Romance novels take away the mindset that we need to make a relationship work because we are so stuck in that fantasy. But this is just one way that the entertainment business continues to infect us.

Taylor swift sells us her fantasy where “he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said marry me Juliet you never have to be alone… It’s a love story baby just say yes”. Now not to bash on Taylor Swift but look at how her love life has played out. Yet we grovel at her song that tells us we will find our Romeo. We are caught up to the point where we don’t even look at her life and the reality that goes with it. It is distorting our own reality “we are falling in love with the idea of being in love.” And it’s ruining the truth behind the relationship because we are caught up in the world of the books movies and music. All we can think about is how these books turned out and we don’t focus on what is real. Is it any wonder that America is failing so terribly?

Fifty percent of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce and we don’t often think about why. Even I want a man who will be there when I am sad and to hold me tight through everything; the prince charming who will sweep you off your feet. I dream of the one who will leave flowers on my door step on a bad day, who will cook for me and say the perfect things at the perfect times. This is the label of love that society has placed. But if a man does this for us, does it mean we are in love? Men want a hot girl, and can’t forget that “great personality”.

We frequently see what the false the motives are for relationships. We love for fame, beauty, make up, clothing, money, the list never ends, but they are all fake. These motives ruin’s relationships faster than anything, if something is not perfect, based from that idea that has been so prominent in our lives and the lives around us, then we feel we can find someone better, someone that will give us that. When in all reality those things aren’t what love is based off of and most Americans cannot see that.

Look at the big picture, it seems that everyone is benefiting, but us. Once again, fantasy is great to have but we have to realize what we have, what is real, and change how we are thinking before we end up miserable and alone.

“I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet lead her up the stairwell this ain’t Hollywood….” Even Taylor Swift was brought back to reality. After she released her hit single Love Story, she wrote White Horse, telling us that we aren’t living in those books or movies, this is real life. Love is about the people, about how they make you feel, and if all we can see is the outside, then love isn’t there. I do agree on the other hand that when someone loves you they do things like that, but we are taking this way too far and basing every part of our love lives on it. Let us think about what we can do to fix it.

Let’s use college as an example. You pay thousands upon thousands of dollars for college and for what. We do it so in the future we can get a job from that education. We have to see the bigger picture and look at the future of what will happen. So why can’t we see relationships in the same way. Yes right now it may seem perfect for you to get married but we have to look at the future. We have to look at everything, like I said, the bigger picture, because if we don’t, serious consequences could follow. As I told you earlier, fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. No one wants that, I have seen so many people around me in my life who have been severely affected by divorce, but a lot of this could be avoided if we took a step back to see everything.

We all want a fairytale ending. We have to snap back to reality and look at what’s going on. We have to first look at our motives; say to ourselves why do I love this person? Second we have to make sure that we can separate our ideas from the idea that has surrounded us so much in our lives, the love America puts in our minds. And third we have to make sure that we are not “falling in love with the idea of being in love” but that you can answer the first question of why and know for sure that it is right.

I want a love like my parents, the love I was born from, not to be stuck in a fantasy waiting for this perfect person and have them never come. Don’t fall in love with the idea of being in love. It is called falling in love because it happens out of our control we just fall, if we try to control everything it won’t come true. Get out of that fantasy and come back to reality because there is someone waiting here for you.





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