I Can't Love...Can I?

March 9, 2011
By Lolita BRONZE, Ogden, Utah
Lolita BRONZE, Ogden, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Before I met you or your "roommate", I wouldn't have never even thought about loving someone. Loving someone in any form of way, as a friend, as a family member, or even a lover. Most people don't think that a female that is as positive, outgoing, intelligent, and bubbly as me can't say the words "I love you". For the longest time I not only lived by this thinking but didn't try to get in a relationship with anyone and care for them. I never would have thought that I will feel this awkward emotion.

Somehow, you a non-pursuing, quiet, "I won't show that I have feelings, but once you open me up I am caring" personality unlocked my heart. A heart that has been sealed and didn't show it to anyone but you. You can say "How do I trust you, especially after you pushed me away?" What's the harm in trying again? You won't lose anything, except your "mean" mask. I will lose my heart if you don't try...

I didn't understand why I felt hurt when you wrote to me: "I tried but your pushing me away didn't help. Sorry..." I don't love you, you try to be a prideful person who looks as if you don't care for anyone. I CAN'T LOVE YOU!! I screamed in my head. Why would I love someone who can't try to love me? I thought, and thought. Then realized if I do it is because you are a great person, who has been there for me when no one else would try. Even though you are quiet, you listen better than my "family", you give advice better than people who are older, you care even if you try not to show it, and most of all I can be myself around you.

Suddenly I realized I do, I can, and I will LOVE YOU.

I can love anyone friends, family, and let's not forget you. I will care now more than before.

Thank you for this emotion that you try not show back.


The author's comments:
I have been hurt emotionally, especially with the word "Love". I met a guy who is (on the outside) the total opposite of me. When it comes down to it, I never would have pictured myself with a guy like him. He is quiet, non-outgoing, if not pursued won't try, a country person, but caring (if he lets you in), to a point where he won't leave unless you tell him too. I was attracted to him and pursued him. I never thought I would get emotionally caught-up but did. Still today I love him and I have possibly lost him because I was scared to love him. He may never let me "back into" his heart.
I have learned that I can love and will love even if I lost him. I hope anyone who is trying not to "get caught-up" that has read this will take my experience and learn that loving will get you further than not.

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This article has 3 comments.


on Mar. 18 2011 at 7:48 am
BitterSweet1993 SILVER, Bronx, New York
5 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. ~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook, 1949

Well keep growing my dear. There must be many more people for you to touch and inspire in your life.

Lolita BRONZE said...
on Mar. 17 2011 at 2:51 pm
Lolita BRONZE, Ogden, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Thanks!! I have just learned that saying...I've had become a different person because of him...grown so much in the last four months..

on Mar. 17 2011 at 10:43 am
BitterSweet1993 SILVER, Bronx, New York
5 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. ~W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook, 1949

Beautiful. And it's true what they say. It's better to have loved and lost. Than to never have loved at all. Thank you for sharing this. It is honestly beautiful.


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