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The "Perfect" Date, and Why I Can't Stand It

I have officially decided. My idea of a perfect date is simply spending time with someone and laughing and being myself, without all that romance stuff, (Hugs don't count, I love hugs.) For instance, a tire swing would be an ideal date, because they are awesome, and you can just play like you are a kid, without all the responsibility and pain and problems that come with growing up. It reminds me of that childlike innocence that sometimes I wish I had. But a "date", if I must call it that, should be something that is innocent, not overplayed. Not kissing in the rain or crying your eyes out because you are not with someone for 5 seconds. That's just weird,obsessive, and slightly stalker-ish; people CAN get restraining orders, mind you. I never really have liked the concept of dating, it seems like an awkward situation. The typical "sweet boyfriend" thing that you see in the movie just kind of irks me. It's too weird. People should be themselves around those they want to get close to. I wouldn't want a guy that would write me poetry or ride with me on a horse into the sunset. I'm from Texas; I hate horses, and the two experiences I've had riding them, well let's just say I don't know who decided that was romantic. And the poetry thing, it's cool to read, but for it to be about me? aah it just be weird. But normal people dating, like dinner and a movie: Why would I want to watch someone eat? What is so interesting about that? And what if you get nervous and spill stuff on yourself? No, no dinner. And a movie. If you're dating someone, don't you want to get to know them? Unless it involves going into a Justin Bieber movie and throwing water bottles at the screen, I don't see how it would be fun. I'd be too involved in the movie to pay attention to anyone around me. And why would I want to date to get to know someone, when I could know them perfectly fine without dating. I don't want to be one of those girls that constantly talks about her boyfriend all the time, and I have plenty of guy friends, so if I hung out with them a lot, who's to say my "Boyfriend" wouldn't get mad? Oh no, and labeling him as MY bf, MY this MY that, it's very possessive. I mean, guys are people too, not just objects of infatuation. Goodness Disney, I don't want to wait for some prince to come and save the day. I want to be myself, not tied down to someone who I will constantly have to spend time with, even if it doesn't seem like a burden at the time, you get disconnected from your other friends. I want some guy who's my friend and will be there for me and respect me, but dating him, no, too formal, too weird. I guess why I don't like the idea is because I can do the exact same things that I would do while dating (go to coffee shops, concerts, hang out) with friends, by myself (as opposed to not being single). I guess in a way it is different, but I mean, who cares? I don't want to be kissed. I've been there, done that. I don't want to live with regrets when I go my separate way, and he goes his. I like things that are fun, not serious, and I want to experience life so, I don't want to have to worry about anything. Plus since I don't like a lot of that cute romantic stuff I don't think I'd make a good girlfriend. I mean it's cute for other people, but for me? For instance, a guy at my school tried to take a girl to prom by dressing it in a tux, and telling her it didn't want to be by itself at prom, and then he gave her a hug, to which she responded by telling him that she was already going with someone. If I saw a bear in a tux, I would automatically assume it's James Bond and go on a spy mission... I wouldn't really think that the bear is lonely and doesn't want to go to prom by itself. (come on, James Bond has much cooler things to do(and has a bunch of spy women that can help him)) But that's for me, not for everyone else. I'm probably one of the only people that thinks prom would be boring with an actual date, but again that's me. Friends make things fun, boyfriends you have to be serious around, and paint your face up and straighten your hair and dress up, WHY? And the words boyfriend and girlfriend, they're titles, like murderer, or slave, or president, or mom. I never have really liked titles, so I wouldn't want to be called girlfriend. My friends have had more than enough boyfriends for me. Plus, currently, my best friend is a guy, actually two or three are. They are fun to hang around with, and it's awesome. They give me the respect and attention that every girl unfortunately needs, and so I don't really see a need for a boyfriend, but hey, this is my point of view, everyone has one. I know people that can't really go without a boyfriend. I've seen them go through heartbreaks, happiness, thinking they've found the guy they will marry to being disappointed again. It doesn't seem like much fun, placing your identity in a guy. I've seen people who have waited for a long time before they've had their first kiss, and all of a sudden the guy of their dreams comes out of no where and they are one of the "cutest" couples I've ever seen. And then there are people like me, who have dated, if you could call it that, in junior high and freshman year of high school, and have just decided that this whole dating thing has only been around a century, finding "love" and such, yet back in the day of arranged marriages people hardly ever got a divorce. However, growing up in a divorced home, and seeing friends get heartbroken, and feeling that way myself because I've gotten too close to my closest guy friends before, and caused a lot of pain myself, and losing close friends because of relationships, it's all disillusioned me. It makes me wonder why people equate romance with love. I've done things I regret, hurt people I wished I hadn't, because I've sought after that false form of love people call romance. Quite frankly, you don't need a boyfriend to hold you in his arms to feel safe. That is where I might feel the most scared. No, you just need friends, friends that will laugh with you or just be near you if you need to cry, go to coffee with you or be there for you if you need to talk, friends that will respect your values and won't push your limits because they really love you, they don't say they do to get something from you, friends that have earned and deserve trust. But no, I don't want a boyfriend, definitely not in high school, I haven't dated in two years, and I have another year of high school before I'll consider it, despite what anyone does to sway my decision otherwise.



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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Starkid42 said...
Mar. 19, 2011 at 5:31 pm

I love this! And love is not a word I use lightly. This is literally my exact philosophy, mostly on the subject of why freshmen girls are idiots. Said freshmen girls insist on trying to tell me that being "level-headed" is a bad thing...

Regardless, kudos for being level-headed, Texan, smart and funny! Even though you have no paragraphs, I really enjoyed reading this. :P

 
neonprincesss replied...
Mar. 20, 2011 at 12:34 am
haha sorry about the paragraphs, I kinda wrote this in ADHD mode, so looking back, I wouldn't know where to put them if I tried. Don't listen to them. Are you a freshman? well, no matter what they say, don't listen to them. I mean really, you won't have your heart in pieces and then try to find some guy with magic superglue that will put it back together only to break it more before you are a senior. No matter what, just be who you are. There is nothing wrong with being a bit smarter or a bit le... (more »)
 
Starkid42 replied...
Mar. 20, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Don't worry about the paragraphs - it usually annoys me but to be honest I didn't even realize they were missing until I was finished reading! <3 ADHD mode <3

Yes, I am a freshman and I have to say the most annoying thing about other girls is when they have no self-confidence or belief in themselves at all. Our society is pretty messed up to make them the popular ones. I love being a floater, it gives you so much freedom to not have to worry what people think.

 
HisPurePrincess This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 9, 2011 at 2:55 pm

I LOVE this!  I really really do!  I don't like dating either, and I won't.  My reasons are kinda different from yours, but I also feel the same way you do for a lot of the things you mentioned.  One funny thing is the prom, since I'm homeschooled I don't exactly have one.  I'm just going on a river cruise with the juniors and seniors in my homeschool group.  But I won't have a date, I don't think any of them will, officially.  If you'd want to, ... (more »)

 
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