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Love or Technology?

When people are young and picture their true love, do they imagine finding them on a dating website? No, they picture themselves running into their love on a crowded street, by finding someone you click with instantly. As they get older people start to lose those ideals of love and begin believing that love is having things in common and having perfect compatibility, and with that the truth of love is slowly falling apart.

Merriam-Webster defines love as unselfish loyal concern for the good of another, and a strong affection for another based on kinship or personal ties. So why is it that more and more people are using online dating sites that match them with another person before they ever meet them? Why are people relying on technicalities and technology in order to find their soul mate? Love is not having the same hobbies, same desires. Love is a game of chance, an opportunity to have fun and find the person whom a person belongs with at the same time. Yes there is much heartbreak in the search for love, but the end result far outshines whatever Match.com could give anyone.

I understand the need for humans to entertain common interests when it comes to love, but it is far more fun to learn new things about a person as you grow together rather than know everything ahead of time. Online dating sites raked in a whopping $932 million in 2011, when you can find somebody you truly love without a monthly membership fee.
Technology should not be depended on for many aspects of life, and the search for relationships is one of those aspects.

It is very easy for users of online dating services to pose as somebody they are not, much easier than it is in real life. Yes, struggles exist revolving around married men posing as singles in bars and lounges. Online, however, seventy-year-old men can pose as twenty-year-olds, prostitutes can advertise their work, and sexual predators can hunt uninhibited. The internet opened up a world of opportunities, and online dating sites are just one of many. These services remove the intimacy of building a relationship and replace it with mechanics.

When people build a relationship with a person face to face, there is a certain bond that forms. A couple can have absolutely nothing in common and still fall in love if they are able to laugh with each other, often at their own expense. Relationships are built on trust, and it is very difficult to trust a person they have met only through a computer monitor. While I am only fifteen and have not lived the worldly experiences many others have, I have witnessed many relationships be built and fall apart and be built again. The happiest couples are the ones whose relationships are the most fun.

While I see the simplicity of online dating sites and that they take the hassle out of dating, the hassle is part of the building. The fact that more and more people are using dating services leads me to believe that more and more people are becoming uninterested in finding their own love and accepting that it is easier to just let someone else hold the reigns. Some readers might point out that sites use personality tests and hobbies and interests in order to best measure compatibility, but I argue that personality tests and interests are not enough to base a long-term relationship on. Lovers should develop interests together, should discover for themselves if their personalities are compatible.

Many humans both female and male long to find love; human psychology demands it. Love is a connection between two people, and consists of many challenges and barriers that are meant to be overcome. No love is perfect; all have their ups and downs. Love, be it between a man and a woman, two men, or two women is not a machine. It does not run perfectly even if you find the “most eligible, compatible male”.

Love is not meant to be perfect. Even couples with the most difficult times are strong together, whereas couples who have the most money in the world can also be worlds apart. Dating sites cannot tell the future, can’t tell people how they will handle miscarriages, debt, children, fires, or retirement. A perfect relationship is what people make it to be, not what the Internet decides it is. The only person who can decide what is perfection is the people themselves.










"Love." Def. 1a. Merriam-Webster Online. Web. 10 Feb. 2011. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love>.



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