January 31, 2011
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My fear does not escape me. I cannot be free from its grasp without getting caught. I can't love him. Then who else? Who else will love my baby? I tell lies to myself that he will be better without me anyway. Does he know that? Should he? Maybe he might find another girl and she can save him from the pain. But not now. God knows I hope it is. I hope he doesn't love me anymore. Maybe he already accepted the idea. Maybe we were not meant to be, or that I just fantasized about him so much that it was only I who thought he said that he loved me. I who thought that all those kisses were not real.
All those kisses...
No. They were real. He was real. Otherwise I would not have this ache so deep in my heart. This fear that burned the wound more under. He wouldn't. He won't
He will not kill himself.

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readaholic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 27, 2011 at 5:19 pm
a litte confusing/creepy, but that's why I like reading your work!  keep it up!!!
PeetaMellark said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 6:43 pm
This reminds me a lot of someone that I know. Thank you for writing this piece, it really touched me. Thanks for sharing and I hope things work out =)
Luna1 replied...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 10:52 pm
Actually I made the last part up because I was thinking of someone else and he didn't do so good. Anyway this is like mixture or two people. I loved that at least someone wrote. Thanks!
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