'people' and the guy behind them all

December 15, 2010
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m so confused at the moment. and frustrated because i dont like not knowing what to do about my thoughts n feelings. but 'people' leave me no choice... because 'people' dont like to talk about feelings or thoughts much...maybe i need to get over 'people'. and beleive me ive tried.... ive tried making my brain gain control of my heart, to tell it to suck it up. to build a f***** bridge n get the f*** over it.... but my heart is a strong, stubborn thing.and my brain is not winning anything at all. i dont know why...im not getting any signals from 'people'... not getting anything at all... i just get the old fond memories that my heart sends to my
mind, that i sure as hell thought was stronger then this...but apperently i was wrong again... im trying to convince myself to let go. yet my grip remains .. my hope lingers. my faith doesnt fade and my desire is still the lord of all my desires.... but 'people' dont realize all that... they just see a girl... that is just a girl. but when i see 'people' i see the guy i changed myself for... i see the guy i dreamt with, when i went to sleep, and i see the guy who is my living, breathing wish that chooses to remain only at a fingertips length away...i dont know what to do about 'people'... he makes me happy. to the fullest extent n even more, then there are times like these where i dont know what to do with myself..i can only hope that my mind and heart come up with an answer..

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