i don’t get it. i don’t get how the things that make you laugh and smile can seem so small compared to the things that make you sad and angry. why does hate always seem to outweigh love? is love a joke? is love just a test to see how many hearts can really break? because if it is, i don’t wanna be a part of it. the feelings i get with you are more than i could ever imagine. the sick to your stomach butterflies that you secretly crave when you’re falling asleep alone. the never ending smile i get when you give simple, flattering compliments constantly. i love those feelings. those are the things we grab onto just so our broken hearts don’t seem so hopeless in the end. because faith and hope are the glue for the pieces that have been shattered. and when there’s none remaining, what comes next? do we just settle for failure until the deadly process repeats itself? until life ends and we all are bitter, bent, and broken. do things really dead end into a downward spiral? or, is love the center of it all. the gravity to our hearts that anxiously await a pursuer. do our hearts automatically mend so we can love again? do we continue to love because it’s the closest thing to living in heaven on earth? i sit and ponder these questions, but then i realize that it all comes back to me sitting here with faith and hope building up that love will somehow eternally exist and never cease for anyone. hope keeps you wishing upon those shooting stars. faith keeps you believing in those shooting stars. and love keeps those shooting stars up in the sky. truth is, we find ourselves in a nonstop search for love because we’re scared of being unwanted, non deserving, and unworthy of one another. we’re scared of so many fears built up inside of us. we’re scared of being alone. the comfort of one another’s fears right beside us keep us moving forward and help form a bond between each of us individually. so we can all look at the things that make us laugh and smile more often than the things that are sad and angry. so we can look back with our hearts glowing and not broken. so we can live our life full and not empty. love does exist. but your mind must be open, your thoughts must be free, and your heart willing to be found.
October 20, 2010