The Boy Study

August 22, 2010
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I’ve been waiting very patiently for about a year now to have my first boyfriend. In the meantime, I’ve been studying boys, and reasoning why I can’t get one to like me, while the boys are falling over themselves to date the girls who dress in designer clothes.
First, my standards are very high. And unfortunately, most of the boys I know are just not at an age that can fit my standards. They make crude jokes, they push each other around, they get D’s on their homework, not because they’re stupid, but because they simply don’t give a damn. And I can’t like them for that.
Second, boys don’t think the way girls do. Most boys actually put a lot more emphasis on a girl being pretty than the girls do to themselves sometimes. There are two types of boys in this category: the “players”, the ones who are on the lookout for hot girls to date all the time, and are just concerned about getting into a girl’s pants (or skirts, in my situation. Stupid uniforms!). Then there are the others. These ones simply don’t care enough to actually talk to a girl, unless she’s interested in the things they’re interested in. Their thought processes go something like this: (and I got this from a real boy, so it’s accurate) “Look, there’s a cute girl. Maybe I’ll talk to her.” And then they don’t.
Third, the girls who dress in expensive designer clothes and put truckloads of makeup on their faces? They actually have great charisma around boys. They might be absolute b****es to you and the rest of your girlfriends, but watch them when they hang out with their boyfriend. Much nicer, huh? And as a side note, those girls usually have player boyfriends. And you don’t want a player as your boyfriend.
And fourth, if you really want a boyfriend (who’s not a player), then go hang out with them. It’ll be easier for them to eventually see you as more than a friend if you start out as being good friends first (this also from a boy).
Wait! One more thing. For a lot of boys, it’s really difficult to ask a girl out. They find it much harder to express their feelings than girls do, because it’s not “socially accepted” for boys to be emotional. So don’t be afraid to ask him out! Boys generally don’t care if it’s a girl who does the asking, just as long as it gets done.
I realize in this article that I am generalizing boys. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone, but this is true to my personal experience. I’d love for some boy to come along and prove me wrong.
So good luck, girls! I hope this helped you understand boys a little better. Go out and put this knowledge to good use!

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This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

Nick5 said...
Dec. 2, 2011 at 7:55 pm

The part about asking for the date I liked--even better yet, try to to get me to ask you during a normal conversation. Say something about how you like me, then I would consider it (asking you out). If you are desperate: ask, But if i say no, it's kinda your fault; I haven't had the time to consider my own feelings yet.

P.S. for those of you still confused: I am a guy, dude, male, boy, and/or a man.

zmanator said...
Sept. 6, 2010 at 3:59 pm

I think you're being a bit one-sided. Sure, there are tons of boys who only care about a girl's looks and nothing else - but that mostly occurs in middle school and tapers out after that.

Plus, a lot of boys are afraid to say, "Hey, she's cool and funny, I'd like to date her" in front of their friends. "Dude, she's hot" is a lot easier.

What I've found is this: stop caring about boys. Look at every guy as just another friend. If it grows into something more, great. If it doesn't... (more »)

singing4ever replied...
Sept. 7, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Thanks. I really appreciate the feedback, and I totally get where you're coming from. This was my opinion a while ago, I've changed a bit since then.
Phantom_Girl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 5:43 pm
This totally fits my experience. No boy ever asked me out, but my best guy friend turned out to have a crush on me. And just like you said, it was easier for him to see me as more than a friend when we'd been friends first. We're together now:)
The~crayon~in~my~heart said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 2:02 pm
girl-just wait they get better.... kinda ;)
jess315 said...
Aug. 30, 2010 at 7:11 pm
i agree. i find myself often times looking at a guy and thinking wow he seems really sweet, maybe he isnt like the rest of them. and every time so far i have been proven very very wrong. as she said this is just from my experience, im sure that there is a decent guy out there, in fact i know a couple of them, it just seems like everytime i do we move to the "just friends" stage and it becomes impossible to get out. so...i think im going to jsut wait for a while before i start looking again.
Waiting_For_Love replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 11:36 am

jess315, yes! i think the exact same thing every time and im sick of being proven wrong. its just not worth it anymore and now that high school is here, you just don't want to hear about it-or deal with it- ever again. but whether i like it or not, im asking myself that question once again about someone. is he different?

guess ill have to wait and see huh?

WriterFanatic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 11:39 am
I think you are giving up too soon. As a guy, Ive got to say that that is pretty stupid! Yes you were wrong! Yes you might have gotten rejected or hurt. Who doesnt? Thats life. Heck thats sadly the normality these days. I guess my point is...dont give up=)
Waiting_For_Love replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 11:44 am
yay! a guy steps in! lol maybe i was giving up too soon but sometimes dealing with so many jerks in your life makes you do that :/ oh well. now i feel like i shouldn't give up
WriterFanatic This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 11:49 am
Ah the guys that are "jerks." Ridiculous aren't they? But not everyone is like that! I find that the perfect people are actually those that you become friends with. That way you can know them as a person not just how they look. Personally, I think that I would rather go out with someone who knows me for what and who I am then someone I just meet on the street.
Waiting_For_Love replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 9:18 am
i totally agree! :)
singing4ever replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Thanks, guys. Just so you know, I haven't given up. I just wrote this when I was a little sick of waiting. Nothing's happened yet, but I still have hope!!! Thanks for all the great comments.
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