Love? Lust? Worship?

July 29, 2010
I recently had the "pleasure" of being asked out by a guy. A guy two years older than my fifteen years. A guy who isn't a virgin. A guy who keeps calling me baby. I'm so not interested, but he says he loves me. Ha.

I can't deny that high schoolers can feel love. I've witnessed it myself. The thing is, love usually comes after being in a relationship for a while. Love at first sight is rare, if it exists at all, and while some might think it's romantic to say things like "I can't live without you" after dating for a few days, I find that it's a turn-off.

It's not the guy's fault; I know plenty of girls who would die for that kind of commitment. The thing is, love is different from lust, which is different from liking someone, which is different from worshiping the ground someone walks on. Now, with the success of Twilight and other romantic books and films, this is seen as sweet. And maybe I'm just strange, but I see it as clingy, especially early in a relationship.

Teenagers, as a rule, have high hormone levels. It's normal! But a lot of times, guys use love to get sex. As in, "If you really love me, you'll do this for me" or "I love you, isn't that enough reason?" The problem here is that they might not be sincere about what they're feeling.

Love (of the romantic kind, anyway) isn't a bargaining chip. It isn't just friendship. It isn't gratitude. Love can be passionate or as simple as enjoying one another's company. No one can tell you how to love. It's easy to tell when you're in love - you literally feel incomplete without them, for starters. However, there's an aspect to love that's hard to feel if you're not in a relationship with that person. Saying romantic things might seem like the best way to enter a relationship, but it comes off as clingy and can have an adverse affect. Not to mention that being in an unhappy relationship can lead to divorce if it goes too far. I'm just saying, maybe we should look a little closer at what we get into. Sometimes it is love, and that's great. But sometimes it isn't, and you find yourself in a situation you don't want to be in.

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Unwritten said...
Aug. 9, 2010 at 12:08 pm
i feel like I'm in the same situation... cept hes not a total freak and not worsippignthe ground i wlk on lol and i'm actually falling for him...
NeverClarity replied...
Aug. 9, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Go for it! Lol good luck!
Adonis said...
Aug. 4, 2010 at 2:41 pm

Ah, you are so right on. leave that loser 17 year old alone.  and trust me, their are probably very few girls out there who's heart would melt if a guy said those things right away. in fact, they'd probably feel just like you do now.

It's always good to be open about how you think especially with your boyfriend, maybe things would've worked out differently if you'd just told him to back off a little until you were ready to reciprocate his feelings.

NeverClarity replied...
Aug. 4, 2010 at 4:34 pm
I did end up requesting that he back off, and when that didn't work I stopped talking to him altogether. Thanks for your input :)
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