What Is Love?

July 11, 2010
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What is love? I honestly can't tell you how many articles, how many stories, how many MOVIES I've read or watched with that exact title. Honestly, there is no definition of love. And the funny thing is, most every person will jump to those pages in a magazine, or jump in a car to go see the movie, when in reality it usually just makes us feel even more depressed and confused about what love really is in the first place. At least, i know that's what I do. Don't get me wrong, I know there are those lucky people out there that are so wrapped up in what love truly is, that it is indescribable.

However, instead of asking ourselves what love is, why don't we ever stop to think about the people in our lives that we already love right now? Too often people focus on the sexy, passionately, romantically, SCRIPTED meaning of love. The type that we read about and hear about in the movies. I'm not going to say that it doesn't exist, but I will say that that is not the only love that exists.

Who do you love in your life? I personally, could make a very long list of all my families (yes, plural) friends, pets, some even guys I've dated...all of them. Often times we strive to find the meaning of love that will provide the comfort and strength that we think will keep us going and keep us stable. The type of love that is unconditional and irreversible. Too many of us (myself included) strive for a love that is a fairy-tale, and often times forget that (gasp!) bad things go wrong in relationships. It's completely inevitable, yet completely heartbreaking all the same.

How many of us have thought we were in love, only to realize that you were more in love with the idea of being in love, rather than being in actual love itself? How many of us have simply longed for that racing of the hearts, and butterflies in the tummy? And now, how many of us have received it? I bet a lot of us HAVE received it, but now I ask you this: How long did it last?

How long does this "love" last. (In my opinion) love is simply unconditional. If I love someone, I LOVE them. And I will continue to love them no matter what. Even if they hurt me in the most inexcusable ways, or if they broke my heart five million times. This might seem a little crazy, and you might ask yourself...why? How could this girl love someone that has broken her heart a gazillion times? How can she love someone, that nearly...destroyed her?

The answer is simple. I have been through way to much in my life to give up on people. I'm finally at a stage in my life that I don't only choose to but HAVE to accept people for what they are and what they've done. And you know why? Because I didn't grow up with two parents handed to me and a nice little gift hiding under a pretty red bow stating: I love you. Completely and unconditionally.
I didn't have the luxury in life to take for granted what some of us merrily were born into. That is what taught me that we DO have love in our lives. We ARE living that life we seem to only fantasize about. We live a life full of love, and existence of some of the most important people in the world to us, our families.

Now I cannot sit here and act as though I get along well with my family, and that my adopted Mother is the best mom I could have ever known. But I am extremely thankful for everything that she has given me. Believe me, she has dragged me through hell and back, and to this day we continue fighting like we have a war that neither side could ever win. To this day we argue, and tear one another down, because we simply cannot find common ground. When we're on good terms, we like to joke that it's because we're so much alike. But honestly? It really is. Two strong minded, extremely opinionated, confident, independent women is a lot to argue with. Now picture them arguing at each other. It's heartbreaking at best, and nearly unforgivable at worst. However, in the end? She's still my mother, and I am still her daughter. I know she loves me, not matter what she continues to put me through. As she knows that I love her, no matter how long and hard I hold a grudge and put my foot down and stand up to her..stand up for myself. To me, that is unconditional love. Knowing that you've been through it all and still continue standing knowing that you'll fall again and again, but nothing will ever change. When you've been through it all, you've got nothing to lose.

Therefore I come to conclude that, life is what you make it. Love is what you make it. And most importantly? YOU are what you make of it. If/when you fall in love, all the problems and heartaches you'll endure, all the troubles and unanswered questions that you'll simply cry about until you realize that you can no longer cry, and all the times you simply want to throw in the towel..but can't. When you've already gone so low in a relationship, that those are the things that keep you closer, those are the things that connect you as one..to say what you've been through and to know that that person will be there no matter what. That, is what love is.

Love is loving when you feel as though they aren't deserving. Loving when they've broken you down so many times, yet you still continue to fight and refuse to give in. Loving when all you want to do is hate, and all you feel you SHOULD do is hate..that is love. It is finding that magical balance between the darkest of times and the brightest of all memories..and simply being able to live with it. Being able to live with it all, and in the end knowing that none of it will really matter. For in the end, you have each other. Love is what we make it. Do you want love? Then simply thrust out your blinded hand and take it. Take it for the good, take it for the evil, take it for all that it is, and nothing that you ever thought it would be...one of the hardest things you've ever done....loved someone when you thought there was nothing left to love.

Loving someone when they are the least lovable.

That, is what Love is.

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This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

Collado92 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 11:06 pm
love this, lol. I like the way you think. This couldn't be more true. Things are what you make of them, and you should never give up or lose hope, love, or faith in someone. This protrays your thought and ideas well. Keep writting. Good work. =)
MercedesXO replied...
Aug. 2, 2010 at 10:17 am
thank you, i appriciate it:)
CloneA This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 15, 2010 at 2:11 pm

I like how you think! You tie it all together very well.

Please let me know what you think of my work too :) I'd love some constructive comments!

MercedesXO replied...
Aug. 1, 2010 at 8:01 pm
thank you soo much:) and i will most deffinitely view and comment on yours as well!
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