It seems like no matter what I do I will never be anything anyone likes. Lately, I been trying to get my ex back of two years but she doesn't want a relationship, but yet she is always flirting with me. I really dont find that fair because it's leading me to think she wants me back but really she doesn't, for now. I love her so much and no matter what I do, it never seems to work. Yesterday would have been our two year anniversary if we would have stayed together, but we arent. I got her flowers and took her to a baseball game. We ended up then going back to her house afterwards. Everything was perfect until I noticed she was texting other guys the whole night. It sucks to know she can't go a couple hours without texting other guys while she is with me. I just want to know if I am seriously wasting my time because it feels like I am. I find that she is worth waiting for but it doesn't seem like I am making any progress at all. I don't know what to do. It's not only my ex that is bothering, but also my friends. My friends are so fake to me and say how much they love me and shit, but they don't even bother with me at all. They aren't true friends. I live for college in a little over a month and honestly I can not wait because I will find out who my true friends are. One of my friends i grew up, we have been friends for 9 years and he doesn't seem to care that I am leaving for college. I am the first out of all my friends to leave for college. I asked him to come move me into college with two other of my friends and he doesn't really want to. Would that hurt you? It hurt me a lot. Whenever we hang out we always have to do what he wants because to him, my opinion doesn't matter at all. I have my last musical show coming up in two weeks and as he said "I don't want to waste 8 dollars" but what pisses me off is that my two room mates from colleges are drives from hours away to come see my last but my friend who lives where the show is, won't come see it. He always says ohh lets go to the strip club, make sure you bring 20 dollars. I don't go because I save my money for more important things. I like how he can waste 20 dollars at a strip club but can't come see my last show. I supported him with all he did throughout high school. He never came to one show and this is all I ask of him. It's too much. It's too much for anyone to actually care about me. It sucks to know that I have nobody but myself.
Life never turns out the way it'd like.
May 28, 2010