Close your eyes, and ask yourself

May 13, 2010
By Anonymous

As we all watch, waiting on that exact moment, when insecurities are at edge. We wonder how it happens, from the start maybe it’s perfect, the entire picture, but in between the lines, the questioning perfection isn’t as oblivious as it may seem. Like animals, waiting on their prey’s weakest second to attack, we watch them, depending on when they are hurt the most, than like everything means absolutely nothing we take away what rightfully does not belong to us. A horrid picture, yet we all do it, so the deceitfulness of it is overshadowed by the onset of ‘everyone does it.’ Taking every opportunity to steal a person from the one who loves them most, when they are emotionally unstable, is something we all seem to be good at. It only takes a split second. You see two people, who we know love each other, get into a fight. They still want to be together, they are just mad-fighting. But we are too selfish, too decieving to put that before are own ignorance. Its almost an uncontrolable motion; being inhuman--in a way--is almost just being human, because we are all the same way in an odd since.

Love is the one thing that can never be completely replaced by another person. Truly loving someone, means truly wanting no one else. The emotional attachment a person gets to someone is completely unexplainable. How can a person love someone to the extent that leaving them would be leaving themselves? We eventually come to the conclusion that we are completely incapable of moving on and finding love in someone else. Drowning ourselves with idiotic excuses for every reason why we don’t want a person after they’ve hurt us so much, we find every reason for why do inside of those why we do not’s. And when they leave us, we feel as if our entire future has been shattered. We pictured our future, and in every frame, we put them in a special place. And when they walked away, every frame of our future was erased. Our goals, dreams, wishes, all walked away, the exact way they did. We still imagine being in their arms, the kisses, being able to jsut falling looking into their eyes. How everything was so perfect, like nothing in the world could get in the way. But now, getting up in the morning feels like a chore, and feeling beautiful is a thing of the past. The way you felt so secure, now washes you, and you're beginning to feel that numbness, which takes away all happiness. As if someone died, as if you died. They took everything away from you, just by turning their back. So, eventually, if you let this consume your life, you pretty much die inside. You become lifeless.
We all believe that moving on means being completely over someone, which is completely wrong. Moving on is telling yourself that you no longer want to be hurt and unhappy. Its probably much harder than not moving on, just because you than start picturing them with someone else in their arms. You start to put your future back together and don't know how to feel all the empty spaces. Its like you're moving on without yourself. The love will always be there, if you did love them, but loving them means letting go, if thats what it takes. If they are happier without you, than holding on shouldn't be so hard to let go of. After a while, you begin smiling at small things, laughing at things that make no since. You are building up your happiness again, and putting your heart back together, though you hardly realize it, because you don't want to be happy, you just are.

And as sad as it is, if you get that almost self loathing feeling after you lose the one you love, that is true love. Its losing yourself as well. Love overtakes everything else in the world, yourself even. You get consumed in it; waking up and going to sleep in love. And once you lose that, that since of passion or of happiness even, than you lose who you are as well. And the only way to find yourself again, is to realize, had they loved you the same way you loved them, than it would have been true love. If they never come back, than they never honestly loved you, which means, it was all fake; you never truly loved them. If they lied about loving you, than you loved a liar. And loving a liar, is not true love. Its the desperation for happiness.

The author's comments:
This is mainly written for teenage girls, like myself, who fall completely head over hills for a boy, probably because he makes her feel beautiful. He tells her he's going to marry her and paints this amazing future that just makes her want to drop everything and run towards that. She puts all of her faith in him, than in an instant, something happens, and she turns around to find his back; he's walking away. Her life was put into him, and in the end, she feels as if he walked away with his life, and hers as well. And if he stays gone, thats when she has to realize, he's gone--not because of me, but becuase the love he gave me was not real. And I can find happiness without him.

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