Does True Love Kill Children?

May 12, 2010
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I love you. It’s of the most simple yet profoundly powerful statements one person can divulge to another. It implies that one cares unconditionally for another. True love means absolute acceptance and unfailing understanding. True love means that no matter what was to happen, one’s heart is devoted to their life partner in crime. When I was young, my mother explained it to me. She said that you know you’re in love when you think that even if this person were to become a vegetable stuck to a wheelchair for the rest of their life you’d still love them. You’d be willing to take care of them. You’d be willing to feed them, bathe them, change their diapers, and ultimately replace all your desires and dreams to tend to them. It’s a worrisome thought. No one wants to think of the person they care about as the result of a horrible accident, but is it not true?

In today’s society, the phrase I love you is thrown around too easily, without the knowledge of its true power. Even yesterday as I stood in my kitchen, I argued with my ten year old brother as he talked the phone with his “girlfriend of the week” who he professes to be madly in love with. At the age of ten, you don’t even know what love is. When I was ten, I still thought boys had cooties! It worries me that this kind of play is encouraged in children. There is no need for a ten year old to be holding hands with a nine year old at recess or writing love notes in class. Does nobody see a problem with that?

And it doesn’t end there. In the high school, the dangers of unrealistic affections can even be fatal. Boys and girls have killed themselves as well as others as a result of their “undying love.” The misuse of the phrase “I love you” has resulted in the deaths of thousands of high schoolers just because children didn’t realize what they were saying. How much can you truly love someone if it makes you want to kill yourself or others? Does true love kill children?

No. The “love” that young boys and girl proclaim they experience is natural born lust. It’s in every one of us. There comes a point, after all, when everyone realizes world beyond themselves, and with that, the realization that they don’t want to be alone. So they practice the art of dating, just for the experience or just to say “Yeah. I have a girlfriend/boyfriend.” And the thus, lust is born. Granted, there are exceptions. There are those who follow the golden rule and sometimes find love early. My mother, one of the wisest women I’ve ever known, taught me this as well.

“Look at every date like a potential mate.” You have to remember that every time you say you love someone, they could be your last. They could be the one that falls in love with you and expects to be your partner in life. And you don’t want a one sided love. That results in a broken heart, which gets messy. So, I learned from a early age, that if I couldn’t see myself with them forever, if I couldn’t see myself taking care of them, if I didn’t see a little piece of our future at all, then there was a problem.

Now, I’m not saying that the very minute you start to date someone, you should start trying to see your future with them. No. Don’t do that. Don’t start dating a guy/girl and start thinking about your house in the suburbs with two kids and a dog. No. That’s kind of scary. But love doesn’t happen in a day and it isn’t something we should practice with. Friendship is a step and necessity to true love. You should friends before you start raining down with your “undying love.” You should really know the person your dating. And whether dating young, for fun, or seriously, you have to remember that there is another person in this relationship and their heart and feelings are now involved. When you’re able to comprehend that there’s another person with feelings and emotions, when you can see beyond yourself, then you’re ready to start dating.

And only after that, should you consider a phrase like I love you.

And sorry to disappoint, but the age of love isn’t at ten years old. Sorry little Romeos.

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This article has 18 comments. Post your own now!

Ellliephant123 said...
May 18, 2011 at 12:21 pm
I do think your article is true. But when i was young, in grade s and 3, my best friend died. I became depressed. Soon i switched schools in grade 4. I met this boy... he is an angel. I love him and God said to me once, (this is true) that I would marry him. We are best friends, but we are not dating (yet) until we are 16. I love him. I met my love when I was 9, and sometimes kids can realise the power of the word love.
SecretNonConformist said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 4:36 pm
So true! At ten I was building forts to keep the boys out. And I totally agree with you! Love isn't something to be thrown around.
sunnyhunny This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 23, 2010 at 6:43 pm
This is very insightful, and I couldn't agree with you more.  It makes me cringe at my seventh grade self saying "ily" over text.  Kids need to be more careful about the words they use.  Sometimes I think that young people act like they're engaged, and not just "going out" for a week.
Kandabear replied...
May 24, 2010 at 10:28 pm
Haha I think we've all been in those days. lol. thanks for the comment. =)
DanceAway This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm
I like this article a lot. So true! :) 5 stars.
Kandabear replied...
May 24, 2010 at 10:28 pm
How sweet! Bless you ^^
TashaTyrantthnx said...
May 20, 2010 at 8:16 am
I enjoyed this quite a bit. I didn't want to stop reading. You made a valid point, and I can definately see that. I'd appreciate it if you read my fiction piece; comment and rate it. Mind the minor errors, I submitted the unedited version by mistake.
Kandabear replied...
May 20, 2010 at 10:59 pm
First, thank you for the comment =] Im grateful. Second, yes I would love to read and comment your piece.
Hannah Y. said...
May 17, 2010 at 11:34 pm
I like this. People of this age seem to have forgotten the power of words and switch love and lust all the time. To love some one is very serious. I wish people remembered this. If u get the chance could you look up my first submitted work; Leaves Of Youth and rate/ comment?  I would really aprreciate it!
Kandabear replied...
May 20, 2010 at 7:56 am
Thank you for the comment. I will read your piece asap
Hannah Y. replied...
May 21, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Hey Kandabear! Thanks so much for you nice comment. I will look at more of your work too! P. S. i also love The book thief( Profile<:) and convinced my book club it was a manditory read!
Kandabear replied...
May 21, 2010 at 8:48 pm
It is an incredible read! I love it! and thank you! it would mean a bunch ^^
DestinysAgent said...
May 16, 2010 at 10:41 am
This article really has something to say, and says it very well.  I agree with your point of view, people don't really appreciate those things the way they should.  Good work!
Kandabear replied...
May 17, 2010 at 10:22 am

Thank you for the feedback =)

Im grateful for your faithful reading. =)

SarahBelle535 said...
May 16, 2010 at 8:26 am
Haha. I like this. It makes some really clear points. Very knowledgable. And the ending was comical "little romeos"
SUPERMANDwightHoward replied...
May 18, 2010 at 7:08 pm
I really enjoyed this peice I found it very insightful, I love the usage of things you've seen and references from your mother.
Kandabear replied...
May 20, 2010 at 7:55 am
Thanks for being a faithful reader Sarah!
Kandabear replied...
May 20, 2010 at 7:56 am
Haha. Thank you SUPERMANdh. My mother is a wise wise woman ^^
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