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Mr.Capable

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Dear Mr. Capable,
Remember when we had our first class together? Do you remember those late night conversations, the beginning of everything? Do you remember those summer days? Staying out late and do nothing but sitting on the hill at the park, watching the sun go down? Do you remember the morning you woke me up, lifted me, and held me in your arms and saying "wake up sleepyhead!" Do you remember when you told me you wished I was going to be with you in the summer, when I wouldn't be by your side? I remember those memories, those were the special moments in my life. You were special.
You were my everything. I was like a penny on the floor, you picked me up when I was down, and worked with what you had. And if I had my head up, you'd have good luck. You were my best friend, the one who I would text in the middle of the night just to have someone to talk to, and the person I would call to hear that sweet voice. The person that would sense something was wrong just by my tone, the first to know, always the first to know. I was the Milk, and you were the Cookies. They go hand in hand, and when they did not, the world would crumble-or close to it that is. You made me feel special, and you made me feel like I was worth something. You helped me through the rough patches in my life, and you would listen. You were a heck of a good listener.
When things were not going my way, you would simply reply, "you shine so much brighter than them, so don't make them worth your rusting." And that would make my heart skip a beat, and I would forget what I was frustrated about. You taught me how to react to situations properly, how to communicate with people better, and made me grow up. Our relationship was different everything we tried it again. Each time was like a step towards the actual product. Bigger, Better, Newer, and Sweeter. You taught me a lot about yourself, the world, and most importantly myself. We were a perfect couple in front of others, but we had our faults, problems, fights, but at the end we stilled loved each other after the year we spent together. But things began to spoil.
You let me down Mr. Capable. After realizing I could trust you, and putting that thought into my mind and having it stay there, I became sweeter and nicer towards you more than ever. I baked you sweets on no special occasion, I attended your sporting events, I bought you things, and I was there for you. I bent over backwards to support you, and to make you satisfied. Why would I not trust you? Well, here are a few reasons out of many. One, the only time I remember you breaking down your wall of security was the night your mother yelled at you. You took it to heart, and you were pretty beaten up from it. You were so hurt, you voice cracked on the phone, and I could feel your pain, and your tears. Secondly, you lived off my popularity. You became allies with my friends. Yet, I never once had a serious conversation with one of yours, nor did you introduce me to your best friend. I was oblivious, I was in love. Thirdly, you picked your buddy over me. You knew I could read people, and their vibes. I constantly told you I did not like him, nor did I like the fact he was always with us-no matter what. You insisted he was harmless and did not have feelings towards me.
I set aside my personal views about him, and let it go. Time passed and our relationship began to crack, like porcelain. Growing pains of neglect began to worry me, but you insisted it was nothing. I told you I wanted to work it out, but you questioned whether we should even date anymore. Time went on, and you began to put down my offers to spend time together. Feeling sad, I backed off. "I think it's time we begin to date other people, I mean we did try this out three times," you said. Confused, I agreed and ended the conversation. A dreary week it was for me, lack of sleep, swollen eyes, and a weak body to work with.

The next day was quite ironic, your buddy came over. He and my brother were studying in the room next to me, and your buddy came into my room and asked why we broke up. I proceeded to tell him to ask you. "He wouldn't tell me; he didn't want to talk about it," he said. "Well, if he didn't tell you I don't think I should, it's only fair. Ask him again and he'll most likely tell you," I replied. Your buddy called you and asked why, and you told him, but what you don't know was you were on speaker-phone, and I was listening to every word you spoke.

Again, you confused me Mr. Capable. Contradicting yourself, you said, "maybe we will get back together, I don't know man" with an annoyed tone. I sat there dumbfounded, and returned to my room. The following day you IM'd me off of Yahoo! saying I should really get over you. I agreed, and ended the conversation once again. The next day came along and you told me "If you show me you don't get mad over small things, and aren't jealous I will start to miss you." All these excuses were pathetic. But the greatest excuse was "If we aren't friends with benefits, I want nothing from you." I chuckled, and thought to myself "what a jerk." The end of the week approached, and you were very consistent. Did you know that? Calling me out, telling me I am no good, I have no respect for myself, I'm not funny which according to you was the main reason why you did not bring me around your friend, claimed you met someone a million times better than me. I argued back, but now that I think of it, I should not have. You were not worth it then and your still not worth it now.

Trying to change myself to fit your needs, is not me. And I'm sorry I gave you that impression. Deleting friends of mine off of my phone, getting into fights with my guy friends, not allowing me to hang out with any guy except my homosexual ones, no this, and no that. You had me in check. It was all about double standards with you. You told me I couldn't do one thing, but the next day you would do it. But I didn't realize it, until now. Again, I was oblivious, I was in love. Were you? It doesn't matter at this point. I lost all respect for you Mr.Capable.

As for your buddy goes, you were the ignorant one. I tried to warn you, but instead you chose him over me. Now you get to deal with your so called "best friend". I may not be right about things that come from a book, but I know people. I am never wrong about them. He was and still is into me. If he was really your friend, he would not have tried to pull a move on his best friends ex-girlfriend. But then again, you know more than me, and I will never be as smart as you. Even though I still see you glance at me in the morning before school starts, and ask girls about me. Always remember you will not receive any sympathy from me.

You were the one who lost such an incredible girl. I do not feel bad for people who talk about me behind my back, when I did nothing to them in the first place. Yes, I heard the rumors that you spread about me. It's okay; it only makes you look bad, and please do not claim that you did not start them, because the people who told me would never lie to me about that kind of stuff. I guess they have a soul, an innocent soul. As for the holding of hands between you and your so called "sister figure," It's okay, because you lied there too. "I don't like holding hands Lauren. I'm self-conscience about it" you claimed. I believed it, yet again I believed everything that came out of your mouth. I trusted you not to lie to me, which was one of the biggest mistakes I have made in this relationship, and because of that, I take the blame.

But now, I'm okay. There are no more shedding of tears, and not a single bone in me hurts. I am back on my feet, and I am ready to improve my life every any possible way, and in order for me to do that, I have to rid myself of you! I am done with you because you knew my number one pet peeve was liars. You showed me that you are nothing like you use to be. I do not care anymore, nor will I look back. Also, I took off your bracelet today. It was the last thing that I was holding onto that preserved you in it.

Mr. Capable, what I am trying to say it is that, you are not capable of much. Harsh, I know, but it's true. Not only have I seen your true colors, but many others have too. You are not a friendly person anymore, you're quite a monster. What you are capable of is breaking hearts. This is why I am through with you, Mr. Capable. I am venturing off to find Mr. Gentlemen. If you won't treat me right, at least he will. This may have been a horrid personal experience, but I have learned from it. I will never make the same mistake twice.

Goodbye, Monster.



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This article has 5 comments. Post your own!

askkhowell said...
Aug. 10, 2010 at 6:35 pm:
Amazing...keep writing!
 
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timevampire This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 10, 2010 at 1:22 pm:
That's amazing how you made that experience it such a beautiful work of art. I really like it. :)
 
LaurenC replied...
May 11, 2010 at 2:15 pm :
Aw! Thank you:]
 
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MikaelaStinson said...
May 7, 2010 at 7:43 pm:
this is a really great piece. I can really feel the emotion behind every word and I can relate so well to your experience, seeing as I have gone through something similar.
 
LaurenC replied...
May 8, 2010 at 9:07 pm :
Wow, thank you so much. This really means a lot that you took time to read this. I'm enlightened :) 
 
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