Is it really possible for guys and girls to be just friends?

April 12, 2010
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One of the few romantic comedies that I can watch repetitively without desiring to profusely roll my eyes at the television screen is without hesitation When Harry Met Sally (yes, it's about what twenty years old.. but it's the older movies that are classical!). Anyway the movie, which centralizes around the relationship between Harry and Sally (which is a complicated relationship), brings up an important, rather debatable question: Can guys and girls indeed be simply just friends?
The question touches controversial subject matter really. On the one hand, one might insist that their relationship with their friend of the opposite gender is platonic. However, one cannot hastily take that assumption unless they have knowledge that their friend does not have romantic feelings for them. If two people, each of the opposite gender, desire to have a platonic relationship for each other, it must be communicated of their desire of a platonic relationship.
Caleb is my best friend. We talk every day, it feels strange when we don't. He compliments me on occasion and always teases me the way a fourth grader would. We see each other almost every day and no matter how angry I get at him, just a simple "Hello" will make me suddenly snap into the most pleasant girl in the world. I have been friends with him for two years, I have no idea what makes me gravitate towards being more cheerful when I'm with him.
My feelings for him started out at as platonic. Sure, I thought he had decent looks and all, but that little spark of chemistry, I felt, was not visible. Besides, it didn't help the fact that he had a girlfriend too.
I cannot tell you the exact day or even the exact month my feelings morphed into something I did not want to feel. I desperately tried to fight this unwanted feeling by telling myself how arrogant he is and how he always stumbled upon his words. But those negative traits most certainly did not outweigh the positive ones. I would be consumed with guilt when I thought negatively of him, and so I would mentally list as many positive traits that I could think of.
I do realize my feelings for him may appear as melodramatic, maybe pathetic even, but what is even more pathetic is how it has been an estimated nine months, and not once have I ever told him the one thing I craved to tell him, but I just simply couldn't. Caleb always possessed the desire to constantly be involved with someone. Just when I was about to pour my soul out, I would see him hand in hand with someone else. It enraged me that not for one minute he could not stop searching and just realize what is in front of him could very well be the one thing he was looking for.
Caleb is not my only friend of the opposite gender. I also have a friend named Dante, and our relationship is completely platonic. Everyday I talk to him and yes we both have fun together. But the reason why this relationship is platonic is because both of us had stated before that never in the course of our friendship, would we ever date. We both joked about how crazy we would drive each other, but most of all we said that we weren't attracted to each other. Not just physically, but also mentally. One can still be friends with someone and not be mentally attracted to someone, same applies to physical attraction.
It is definitely possible to attain a platonic relationship with a person of the opposite gender. Boundaries and forms of the relationship simply just need to be communicated. Through communication, one is aware of the person's feelings, which can prevent another's feelings to manifest into something else.





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