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Imaginary Boyfriend

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I am 15 and I am not allowed to date. Therefore I don’t know the ins and outs of dating like most people my age. So I am left my imagination and what I’ve seen in movies. I’ve always imagined me and a guy, his face is never clear in my mind, running along the beach. I’m in a beautiful sundress and my curls are whipping carelessly around my face. I am laughing and he smiles at me. He has a nice smile, one I could look at forever. He pulls me close and kisses me on the lips, short and sweet. We giggle, and I wrap my arms around his neck and stare into his eyes. I don’t know what color they are but I know that I can see into his soul, and it’s pure. This is the innocent kind of young love. Not like the other teenage loves that end in disaster. I am sure of it. I hear stories from my friends all the time. How their relationships end in pain and involve stupidity and confusion. But I am sure I won’t end up that way.
I imagine me and guy, not on a beach this time, but in my backyard. I am wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and my ratty converse. we’re sitting in the grass, talking. I lay down and the blades of grass tickle my neck, my hair fans out around my head. Were holding hands, he says something that makes me laugh. He kisses me lightly on the nose and I blush. He smiles, it’s always the same smile, the one I could look into forever. He kisses me lightly and my hands reach up to his face. He has light stubble that scratch the palms of my hand, but I don’t seem to mind. And we stay there, talking, whispering “I love you” our lips so close they brush against each other. I hear people say that young love never lasts, that is only causes problems. But I am convinced that with the right person young love can last forever.
I imagine me and him, we’re waiting in line for the movies. His hand is in the back pocket of my jeans, my arm wrapped around his waist. I sigh contently and he looks down at me and smirks. I smile up at him and ruffle his shaggy hair, he needs a haircut. He picks the movie and I pick the candy. Sour gummy worms and starbursts. We sit in the theater and wait for the movie to start. We fool around trying to catch starbursts in our mouth. I miss repeatedly and he laughs, I pout and he kisses me. Then we’re laughing all over again.
But I come crashing back to reality. I get a phone call from my friend, crying and heartbroken. And what people say about young love seems true. Less than 5% of all high school relationships end in marriage. And over 75% of all high school relationships end with heart break. I see what my friends go through, and don’t want it at all. I guess for now I’ll stick to my imaginary boyfriends, and the one’s I crush on in movies. I can always modify them in my mind and turn off the tv if they turn into jerks, but in real life you just have to roll with the punches.



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PargaranThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 25, 2013 at 11:26 pm
I love this! And I can relate. Although I'm 17, I haven't had a boyfriend either...and honestly, I don't really want one! It's true that it usually ends in heartbreak, and who needs that? I'll just die alone with 75 cats. xD Haha, sorry...didn't mean to be a downer. I just don't see the point in dating for real when as you said, imagining them or watching them in a movie, they can be changed and it can end if you want, without all that pain.
 
Call_Me_The_Sloth said...
Feb. 23, 2013 at 2:32 pm
God, is that depressing. Even if "teen love" often ends in heartbreak, doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a chance. Maybe you just need new friends?
 
LaQueenNo1 said...
Dec. 31, 2012 at 7:32 pm
Wow! I love the deescription! I can really imagine everything!!! so cute... I'm 16 years old and I've never had a boyfriend, I've been focusing on my studies and myself so much that when guys get close to me, I don't know, I get scare and make them go away from me -_- so I think I know the reason why I don't have a boyfriend... but I completely understand that sometimes, as a lonely person, we need someone to be next to us telling us nice things or supporting us... who know... (more »)
 
Fran333 said...
Aug. 30, 2012 at 10:51 pm
I love the details, they are perfect and it's really easy to picture everything in my mind!
 
erinw--Jov said...
Apr. 22, 2012 at 4:22 pm
I love your description--I had a really clear picture in my head of what you were imagining throughout the article. I love your decision not to count on high school relationships--i completely agree!
 
crystal said...
Jan. 25, 2012 at 3:10 pm
well i think that wat she sys is true i iam waiting for a gufy that Godf gives me andf if it comes from him than it means forever bc he will help us to be together forever
 
vici replied...
Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:58 am
I completely agree with you, when I recieve my guy from God I will know that he is the one for me. Plus I'll probably be more mature than I am now
 
ambnyc This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Just because so many high school relationships don't end in marriage, means that you shouldn't have a relationship...?

Slightly confused by your train of thought.

If you have unrealistic expectations about a boyfriend, of course you won't find a guy who meets all those standards. You can't "modify" real life guys. Love is about loving someone because of their flaws, not in spite of.

 
LunaIsNotHere said...
May 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm
I'm also 15 (almost 16) and I could 100% completely relate to this story. Thanks for publishing it, it brightened up my day <3
 
TaylorJade said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 5:00 pm
You're not the only one. I am 14, soon to be 15, and I don't have a boyfriend. I have too many walls built up to let a guy in... So. I just have my imaginary boyfriend... I'll stick with him for a while...
 
Fate98 replied...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 1:32 pm
well i hope that your first boyfriend works out as amazing as that.. I am younger than you and i have had a couple of boyfriends but so far none of them has been that dream like.But that first crush i will remember even when i am happily married.hmmm
 
TaylorJade replied...
Apr. 19, 2011 at 7:58 am
Well, I've had boyfriends, but all of  them have hurt me, so ive built up walls, and that has prevented some great relationships... i wont forget my first love though... ever. it hurt the most, but it was also a time where i was most happy...
 
ForgetYou replied...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I am younger than you and I have had LOTS of boyfriends and someone hurt the other one and I hope you guys don't have to go through that because honestly it is not worth it at all I mean I am happy that I am me but really I don't need to go through this at 12 years old I have my whole life to do this!!!! But once you go out with one guy another guy asks you out right after and I always feel like I should say yes because it will make me feel better but it does not.

And don't give a guy ... (more »)

 
TaylorJade replied...
Jun. 29, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Well, being 12 you don't understand older relationships like older girls do, because things do change when you get older (because things become more serious.) Yes, I have given a piece of my heart to 2 guys, and they do still have them, but I also have a piece of theirs. So... yeah. And if someone is ready to lose their virginity, you can't stop them. Believe me, I tried. /: but... yeah. Don't just let yourself go beyond your comfort zone because once something is done, you can't take it back. /... (more »)
 
SeerKnowsBest said...
Mar. 1, 2011 at 7:23 pm
you probably don't care about this honey but i love you! haha no lie though. . . you are loved
 
FireandWater This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Hey, yeah, don't end up in heartbreak.  I'll just say this: i'm 17 and I don't have a boyfriend.  I've got lots of (un-biological) brothers, our friendship is better than some fling i might have.  I don't want to give away my first kiss, or a piece of my heart.  I'm saving that for the man i'll marry.  

One other thing, even imaginary boyfriends can hurt you.  I had one briefly, and i gave some of my heart away.  every time i see him i wish i hadn't w... (more »)

 
7rains said...
Nov. 11, 2010 at 7:16 pm
this is possible, you might be dreaming of something to come. my mom had a dream like this to about my dad.
 
SuicidalLoveMonster said...
Oct. 20, 2010 at 10:21 am

I love this, it was amazing, and I really know what you mean..I was the same way. I am 15 now, with a boyfriend of a year and one month. But before, when  I was 12, every one had there first kiss, and was dating. But I stuck to my imagination. &My boyfriend, is just like I always imagined in the movies, even though he's my total opposite. Good luck(:

<3

 
SamsPhotography said...
Sept. 6, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Love this :) GREAT JOB!

 

 
zmanator said...
Sept. 6, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Well, I'd have to say that a lot of the naysayers of "teen love" don't look at adult love  - I would have to guess that the average percentage of adult relationships that end in marriage has to be close to 5% as well.
 
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