A Note of My Love... Really? No, I'm just following the rules.

February 16, 2010
Today, my sister comes home from her afternoon kindergarten class all happy and giddy. Why, you might ask, because she was carrying a bag of Valentines that she had received that day from the other children in her class. This bag was covered in hand cut pink and red hearts. This was probably the happiest moment of my sister’s life.

She screams “Mom! Mom! Does he really love me?” right when she opens the front door as she is holding one of the classic store bought cards. You know the ones, that have Barbie or Power Rangers on them and say things like “You rock, will you be my Valentine” to “OMG you are my best friend, be my Valentine.” This one in particular was from a young boy named Joseph that my sister absolutely adores. The Valentine that she got from this young man said “You rock! Have a happy Valentine’s Day!” with a picture of the Jonas Brothers on the front.

This, she thinks, is a confession of his love. All my mom can say to answer her question was “Of course he does.” Good job mom! Telling your daughter that the boy she recently told me she asked to marry her, loves her. And all because he sent her a Valentine, just like he did with all the other girls, and boys for that matter, in that afternoon kindergarten class. You forgot to mention mom that he had to send her one, even if he despised my sister that young Joseph had to send her one. Those were the rules of the class; up until around fourth grade those will always be the rules. Will you continue to tell you precious daughter the lie that every boy that gives her a Valentine’s Day card loves her like she thinks she loves them Mom?

She continues to search her bag for other signs of affection. Of course, everyone in her class sent her a Valentine, because those were the rules. When my sister gets older will she think everyone who gives her a Valentine or says they love her actually love her? Will our parents and teachers continue to lie to the kids? Sending Valentines to everyone is a good idea I must admit. That way no one feels like an outcast, at least not until they get to fifth grade and the rule of giving everyone a Valentine is no longer in affect.

Another thing I must admit is that Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. Yet, I know the dark side of this candy and flower filled holiday. It gives the girls and boys of that afternoon kindergarten class and all over the world the wrong idea. When you are six you can’t even spell the word “love,” let alone know what it truly means. I am a teenager, and I still have trouble explaining exactly what it is.

And what about when the rules don’t apply anymore and the outcast finally realize it was just because they had to not because it actually meant something. When the real “loved” boys and girls get the Valentines and others are left to watch and wish. Not to mention when the teen love world gets even worse. Right now all my sister should be worrying about is learning how to tie her shoes, not when she’s going to tie the knot. Am I right, or am I just bitter?

Soon my sister will realize that this Joseph boy in her afternoon kindergarten class has moved on and so has she. That rule and store bought card will be long gone. Will my mom soon explain to her that boys think with the wrong head and rarely do what they are told or say they will? Will the rule of needing to give EVERYONE a Valentine be lifted? Or am I completely wrong and bitter in the fact that I didn’t see that maybe this Joseph kid really loves my sister?

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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

K.a.t.h.l.e.e.n. said...
Feb. 21, 2011 at 11:20 am
Do you think a mother should tell her own daughter that she is  not loved? No, I don't think so. This is a really bitter story and I think you may be over thinking things.
siddy09 said...
Jun. 17, 2010 at 6:13 pm
i love ur sister :p lol
magic-esi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 21, 2010 at 11:04 am
This is a very good point! I'm glad someone FINALLY agrees with me that outcasts are outcasts; people don't love them, and it's a fact of life no matter how sad it is. I love the way you managed to express the message, too, with the example of your little sister. I wrote an article about this, too, and now everyone hates me for being pessimistic. When will people realize that this is not pessimistic, it is realistic?
losing_but_not_lost246 replied...
May 11, 2010 at 8:00 pm
I think that every little girl and boy deserves to be loved...and if you tell a child that they are an outcast and that they are not love no matter what, you break something within a childhood...hope and love and wisdom. Children have something about them that allow them to love and trust people that if broken too early might destroy them. Children don't need fairy tales to tell them that dragons exist, they already know that. But it's the fairy tales that tell them that they can be killed...and... (more »)
magic-esi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 12, 2010 at 6:34 am
I don't mean you should tell a child they should never be loved; but you shouldn't tell them that they're going to have a wonderful time for the rest of their lives. It will be harder for them when they find out it's not true.
losing_but_not_lost246 replied...
May 12, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Life is like...10% what happens...and 90% what you do with it...If you tell your kids that they can do anything that want to do and they go into the world with that confidence then they have a very good possibility of doing whatever they want to do...but if you don't tell them that...what do they have to believe in themselves?
LostAngel replied...
May 12, 2010 at 6:52 pm
Please people, calm down, it's my opinion. I was just expressing it, you don't have to agree
luvviinnnme... said...
Feb. 21, 2010 at 7:46 am
i dont think being so negative is any good.....u maybe right or probably you are...but that little affection made her happy for thet moment...den wats the harm in it..? she will understand wen she has too....
LostAngel replied...
Feb. 21, 2010 at 9:07 am
I know that it made her happy and all, and I am happy for her, but I just want everyone to realize that maybe this could be a bad thing
luvviinnnme... replied...
Feb. 22, 2010 at 9:40 am
fine....maybe it was a good thought...
LostAngel replied...
Feb. 22, 2010 at 1:33 pm
and lets face it, I have my opinion, you could have yours, neither one of us is wrong
luvviinnnme... replied...
Feb. 23, 2010 at 4:31 am
now,thats something i agree wid u on..!!
Hippiechick10 replied...
Feb. 23, 2011 at 4:31 pm
Hey :) Not here to arouse any conflict :)  LostAngel, this article had a good point, and was written with strong emotion and an interesting view. Great writing :) while I think your lil' sis should remain happy and free as a child, one day she will ( and should) realize the reality of things.
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