Loose someone, Loose yourself.

January 22, 2010
Loosing someone your close to is never easy. We all know that and learn that at a young age. Weather it be a best friend, or a lover. When that person leaves you, you feel as if their dragging a piece of you with them. Lets say a lover. When you spend time getting close to that person, studying their behavior, learning the substance of their smile, memorizing their voice and dreaming about their eyes.
They sew themselves into your heart; you don’t mean it to happen and neither do they but it just happens and neither of you have control over it.
When two people find a love for each other within their souls its hard to give up. Interlaced hands can feel like two halves of a whole. And even though you might still have half when distance is persisted between, you need both halves to survive.
You give your passion to this person, your soul, your affection. And all and all you crave to have It returned. To know their thinking about you when your thinking about them, to be laying in bed and look over. And know that somewhere, wherever they are, their doing the same thing from the opposite side.
It’s like looking at yourself in the mirror. Trying to figure out who you are without that person. You get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, that sensation that gives you a shard of hope. So unknowing to your conscious self. You touch the mirror, letting your reflection and flesh meet each other threw the glass.
And you get this feeling…even though you don’t know for sure, that your reflection is not just you. Is not just what you are looking into. That it’s deeper then that, that the reflected hand isn’t just you, it’s them. And somewhere they might be doing the very same thing.

Every time you close your eyes; longer then to blink. Their face is right there in front of you. It’s like they have been engraved into a stone block inside your mind and your heart. You see them smile and at times you even reach out to touch them. And then feel the bitter isolation when your hand touches nothing but air.
When you fall asleep. You hope and pray to have sweet dreams of them. Because you need that high, you want to feel their touch even if its not exactly real. They may be apart from you but you feel as if they are supernaturally touching your heart.
But it’s truly hard when you look into the eyes of another, trying to move on to someone else while your heart is still wrapped around that one person. You think to yourself that you can do it, you’ll move on effortlessly and the past will be the past.
But then while your mind is wild with confidence. Saying that you can do it, you’ll find someone new. Your heart cuts in, and you start comparing this other person to the one your heart desires. That they say this just like that person, the color of their eyes is similar to that persons, this person has the same shirt, same hair style.
All down to the certain kinds of smaller things they like. And that’s when you stop, you feel as if your insane. You just want to shut the world out and hide away from this. But you cannot hide from your heart, you know that. Because with every beat you see their face, with every beat you hear their voice, with every beat you crave their attention. And with every beat you know your in love with them.
So once again…Loosing someone isn’t easy…But loosing someone your totally in love with. Makes you loose yourself.

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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

Katuria:D said...
Feb. 8, 2010 at 8:58 pm
Wow. That was crazy beautiful. I've read most of your stuff and your really good. I like how you write simple things, like because i love you. This one in particular, I'm pretty much in love with it. It's so true it's like you're reading my mind. It's that i can really relate to it. I lost a best friend and it was one of the hardest things I'd ever been through. And even worse, I just recently lost someone I cared about, they've moved on but like you descr... (more »)
DericksGirl replied...
Jun. 10, 2010 at 10:10 am
I like it. It was really good.
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