Is it love? No.

January 7, 2010
Love: the single most complex word in the English language. No other word can enthrall little girls and give grown men nightmares. No other word can make someone want to become a better person one day and kill themselves the next. No other word can make a person go on a life-long journey to find it and never really know what it is they’re actually looking for.
Love: am I afraid of it? Of course I am. Love is a word that people misuse, mistreat, mistake, and mislead with.
You can tell I’m a little bitter.
Because let’s look at the facts, right? Love, is it real? I’m sure I don’t know, but all I’m saying is that people think divorce rates are going up because more and more people are getting married before they’re ready – which kind of makes sense. But the whole point of getting married has never really been for love. It’s just some 20th century dream some housewife made up to keep her husband that cheated on her with Ms. Burberry down the street. I mean, in the past there were arranged marriages to better social rankings. If you use your brain and think about the bigger picture, marriages are the same then as they are now, except they don’t get set-up. People just make their own stupid mistakes.
The idea of marriage and love was just to coerce girls into giving guys what they really want: sex. But the plan backfired on them, because women stopped trying after they got what they wanted: a ring and a house of their own. Oh, bummer. Moreover, in the past when both parties lost the things they entered the marriage for (For men, sex, and for women, “love”) they had to stick together. Divorces back then were like social suicide – and without the roses and poetry that was basically the entire reason they agreed to marriage. Chivalry was always dead. Guys just stopped trying so hard when they realized they could act like jerks and as long as they had good looks, charm, confidence, money, or even just a place to live… Eventually girls will flock to them.
But that’s not the point. I’m saying that divorce isn’t going up because people are getting married before they’re ready. It’s going up because no one can stand that much time with each other before ripping each other’s throats out. Divorce is becoming more socially accepted, so the people whose families previously shunned them for divorce are able to happily exit a marriage and still be loved.
What can I say? Humans are not animals that are meant to breed for life. We’re intelligent, but we just don’t have the commitment. Wolves stay together for life, but humans can’t because we’re spoiled and usually believe we deserve better than what we’re given. It’s just facts.
Oh, and can I just say that of course I’m including myself in everything I say.
And if you don’t agree with me, then you’re either 1) Lucky enough to be with someone like a wolf or 2) stupid.
Although I believe with all my heart that humans are just too screwed up in the head and selfish to take the time to wait to find the right person or to just give up and do what’s best for the community and choose NOT to procreate their stupid brains – I do like a good love story. I watch the Notebook and weep with the rest of the girl population. I read romance novels and pretend I’m going to find The One. I watch these movies, and read the books, and all this and that. Most of the current ones start with a girl, right? And she’s got a f***ed up life. And then the boy emerges and everything’s great, and then there’s some sort of problem and they turn on each other for like two seconds… but no wait! Then they realize they’re meant to be together, and they kiss and everything’s fine and it’s over.
All I’m asking? A couple hit movies that a girl will have problems and just solve them herself like a normal girl that fairy tales don’t happen to. Because as much as I love the movie He’s Just Not That Into You… Dude, I thought the whole thing was about guys who were not that into you. And how girls should stop living in dreams and kind of come to the sad realization that there really isn’t a knight in shining armor for you. But no, it made even more girls – the girls who were too dumb to read the book – think they’re going to be an exception to the rule, when really that defeats the purpose of the entire premise.
Love is uncomplicated. It’s something you feel for your mom, or brother, or cat. Romantic love is uncomplicated as well. Why, you ask? And that’s simply because when it’s found, it’s found. And when it’s not, then that’s when you find yourself asking yourself even for a moment, “Is it love?” No, it isn’t.
Maybe while you're waiting, try to be more like a wolf.

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