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Stages of Crazy and Clinger
Crazies and clinger: those whiny, obsessive, over-bearing girls. You know…the borderline stalkers—a guy’s worst nightmare.
Warning, guys: stay away from the crazies. All girls are murdering, psychotic, emotional train wrecks once in a while, but some girls go too far. Here are seven stages of crazy:
Stage One: Crazy girl drives past your house randomly.
Stage Two: Crazy girl not only drives past your house, but also your place of work.
Stage Three: Crazy girl talks to your ex-girlfriends and checks your Facebook at least once a day. She even tries to friend your exs.
Stage Four: Crazy girl makes you stop talking to your friends and has admitted to Googling your name on several occasions.
Stage Five: Crazy girl thinks you have feelings for her when, in reality, you just want her to shut up and leave you alone.
Stage Six: Crazy girl sends you texts at least once a minute with question marks if you stop texting her.
Stage Seven: Crazy girl makes threats against your or her life to keep you from breaking up with her.
Although secondary to crazy girl, clinger girl is not to be underestimated.
The worst kind of crazy girl is the crazy girl who is also clingy. Kindly, kindly stay away from clingers. Clingers will make your life miserable. You will be scared to walk out of the door in the morning. You will be twitchy and nervous when you eat breakfast. You won’t want to go to school. Why? Because she will be there…watching you. Don’t laugh. I’m not kidding.
To avoid this creepiness, you should be aware of the seven stages of clinger girls. They are:
Stage One: Clinger deletes all girls who pose any competition from your phone.
Stage Two: Clinger slaps you in the face for no reason at all. She also looks through your text messages at least three times a week.
Stage Three: Clinger plans where she wants to go to college around where you want to go to college…when you’re both still sophomores.
Stage Four: Clinger puts a picture of herself as your phone’s background, Facebook default, and iPod screen.
Stage Five: Clinger gets a job where you get a job so she can keep an eye on you.
Stage Six: Clinger watches you while you sleep.
Stage Seven: Clinger claims you to be the father of her children.
You have been warned…