Commitment Or Corruption?

October 2, 2009
There are five key signs that the typical teenage relationship is deteriorating:
1)The couple decides that they’re in love after a short amount of time.
2)Their friends begin getting left behind.
3)They compare their relationship to other’s.
4)Most of the relationship is suddenly based on sex.
5)Their appearance is changed based on each other’s opinions.
Even the smartest people can get tangled up in “love.” Everyone experiences a couple of messed up relationships but there’s only so far that people can go until they turn from lovesick into a complete fool. If already in high school, it seems like it’s time to get much smarter about dating. In 15-18 years, hasn’t the average teenager seen enough relationships unfold around themselves to know how to behave?
Love is exciting to explore, especially for adolescents that haven’t had much experience with the concept. Many crushes are mistaken for love very quickly and relationships are rushed. This is never fun for anyone because when relationships start quickly, they end quickly as well. Every part of dating should be taken sweet and slowly, so that the new thrill isn’t ruined. Talk on the phone at least twice a week, IM each other, and go out once a week, but please don’t go out almost every day and call each other every chance that you get. You know the character played by Ali Larter in Obsessed? That could easily turn into someone who’s in a weakening relationship.
Significant others are a great way to get away from the average stresses of everyday life but they aren’t the only way to let loose. Once certain couples begin spending time with each other they tend to have so much fun together that other forms of amusement are forgotten. They might begin to decrease spending time with friends, crucial studying hours, and personal hobbies. In this kind of situation, friends become the easiest to push away.
Love is new and exhilarating, but friends are the same people that have always been around, so why not ditch them a few times to be with your new love? The answer to this is simple: friends won’t stick around for people that treat them like crap. Many teenagers in “love” make the huge mistake of abandoning friends for their companion. What they don’t realize is that people don’t appreciate being thrown around like toys that they can pick up and play with when bored. If at least a couple of a dater’s closest friends don’t reject them while in a new downhill relationship, I can guarantee that they will the second that the relationship ceases to exist.
Let me ask all young couples some questions: Is your boyfriend extremely cute? Does your girlfriend have an amazing smile? Does your beloved have an adorable laugh? Do you ever make fun of how your friends look and tell them your girlfriend is much prettier? Do you ever joke around and tell someone that your boyfriend is much better then her’s? If couples said yes to any of the last two, they might be deteriorating.
It’s fun to be captivated by another person but not to the point where others begin to disgust you. To someone in a relationship, they’re probably dating the best person in the world but different couples feel that way as well. By all means, couples should feel happy about where their relationship stands but they don’t need to put down others to do so. This only shows that the duo isn’t facing up to their own relationship problems and if they feel there aren’t any problems, they’re flatly mistaken.
Sex is a very touchy subject but it does exist, that’s why students are taught about it in health class. In a relationship where teenagers are or believe they are in love, the subject of sex comes up. Whether it is only spoken of or actually done, sex roams around and tries to sneak into our everyday lives. I’m not going to say that all teenagers should or shouldn’t have sex, but sex can be a sign that a relationship is deteriorating.
The idea of sex being constantly pushed into a relationship is extremely unhealthy. In most cases, this isn’t something done for the couple to become closer to one another, but rather one person attempting to keep the other content. Once this cycle begins, deteriorate. The one that is being kept “content” might begin to get selfish and use the other person for sex because they lose control of their hormones. Being loved by another doesn’t mean that someone needs to consider having sex. Sex for the wrong reason is painful emotionally and not worth it, especially if the person hasn’t had any experience.
Remember when everyone used to dress in the same plain clothes and girls always had their hair up? Reality is you probably don’t because you weren’t even born back then. Nowadays, we have hair coloring, gauges, various piercings, shocking makeup, stunning clothes, and a variety of accessories to deck ourselves out with. Everyone has his or her own unique style with bits and pieces taken from people seen in advertisements, around town, and at school.
There’s nothing wrong with adding a little bit of someone else’s style to your own. What’s wrong, though, is someone completely changing themselves for a person that they care about. Nobody should have to streak her hair blue or pierce his eyebrow just to please a companion. Self-image should be a person’s own expression and not anybody else’s. People should dress how they please, if their significant other doesn’t believe that they look good enough, then the other should become less significant. Who wants to waste time and money on an uncomfortable appearance when they could be out having a good time?
Relationships are thrilling, if handled correctly. Many adolescents become wrapped up in their new loves and lose sight what else is important. Couples should never forget that while taking part in another person’s life is fun, they still have their own to live. Companions shouldn’t become each other’s lives, but rather a part of their lives.

Join the Discussion

This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

Savannah T. said...
May 26, 2011 at 3:06 am
mostly true. i find it funny tha my biggest issue with people in relationships is number 1 i hate when just after dating for like a few days people are alredy saying i love you.
HisPurePrincess This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 5:42 pm
I dunno exactly what I think about this.  I sort of agree and sort of don't.  I guess I that I don't exactly know what your point of view is, actually.  Read my article, "Dating?  Protecting Your Heart"
Quiet1 said...
Apr. 1, 2011 at 2:09 pm
I so wish i would have read this a few months ago. then i wouldn't have to worry about a certain someone. Do you have anything for trying to avoid your ex when they go to the same school and you have no chance of ever moving that doesnt invovle doing something to you or them? please.
BitterSweet1993 said...
Mar. 10, 2011 at 9:01 am
You are an amazingly brilliant person. I wish those in relationships, young and old, who are trapped in this kind of relationship could see like you do.
Jacobs_Babe said...
Feb. 16, 2011 at 3:51 pm
I really enjoyed reading this, but I also see the point you're making. Teenage relationships are hard, but it also made me think about my boyfriend of almost 6 months. We're both in high school, and there is lots of drama. But we both became a part of each others lives. If he has to play for the school band, I go. If I have a yearbook event, he'll go with me. But your article is very true, I hope you all the best in your next writing. 5 stars
Tiffany16 said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 1:18 pm
The 1st few sentences i read were very true those were some signs that happened to me .
JvCheerSGI said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 11:48 am
When i'm in a relationship my friends are there with me i hang out with my boyfriend and my friends my friends are my world and same with my boyfriends but mostly i've probably known my friends longer but whoever i made plans with first there the first thing i realize
mikamika94 said...
Mar. 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm
This is a very well writen article and I can see how many high school relationships are based on sex and appearances. However, there are also those teens who are lucky in the aspect of love. My relationship with my current boyfriend started when I was 13. I'd just moved to Virginia (gotten out of a horrible relationship) and I met him the day before Homecoming which is when we started dating. You mentioned that starting quick could be a sign of deterioration but in this case it isn't... (more »)
robrobrobin11 said...
Jan. 30, 2010 at 6:26 pm
I like this. I've personally always "not believed" in your love, but it's more like you said, giving up your teen years to another being. Exploration is totally okay in my book, I mean it's a time you meet a lot of new people and are discovering who you are and what you hope to someday find but as far as relationships, it is a very sticky situation and personally I just stay out :) (I've made my mistakes and proven how important it is to listen to myself in these ideas!)
LaceyEmm said...
Jan. 16, 2010 at 11:03 am
I disagree. To me, love conquers all. Including you life.
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