First, let's work on you

May 20, 2009
By Anonymous

Dear friends:



First, I’ve noticed that many teenagers feel like they have to be dating someone to be happy. Maybe its for personal satisfaction, or just to be able to say they’re with someone or for the slime balls out there…maybe its just to get “some”. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I’ve only seen a few couples that are together, where both parties are with each other simply because they enjoy each others company. I also think its ridiculous, to say “I love you” after dating someone for two weeks. If not for any other reason, it takes credit away from the couples who have had to work at their relationship. Under no circumstances, do I believe in love at first sight. It takes conversation, dedication, and more importantly it takes time. Something I’ve learned is love and pain go hand and hand, and you can’t fully experience one without the other. Here’s my suggestion, don’t claim to love someone, until you know exactly what makes them, THEM.


Second, why do some guys feel the need to say things they don’t and never meant? It can be the smallest comments, but sometimes those are what make the biggest impacts. For example, “I don’t care what movie we see, as long as I’m with you.” Or “baby, you’re the only one for me” or my favorite, “I’m with you for you, nothing else matters” I’ve heard these lines so much that now when I hear them, my ears automatically translate them into “bullcrap, bullcrap, BULLCRAP!” Here’s my suggestion, don’t’ say what you don’t mean, because someday, somewhere, someone might actually believe you.


Third…whoa, here comes the big one. SEX. Its been said that guys use love to get sex and girls use sex to get love. Sad thing is, is a lot of relationships are based on just this. My opinions are not based on experience but instead, observation. A lot of my friends sleep around and then later on wonder why it didn’t work out. By no means am I’m saying sex is bad, I’ve just noticed that when it happens to soon, it short circuits other parts of a relationship. People can relate on many different levels -- emotionally, spiritually, physically, and mentally but when sex happens to soon it can and often does become the main focus, and every other part of the relationship, such as talking, becomes irrelevant. I also noticed when this happens, guys tend to lose respect for the girl and girls start to mistrust the guy. Here’s my suggestion: Don’t have sex until you’re married. Make someone prove they love you, because words can only go so far.


Finally, I am not a shrink, nor do I have any formal education concerning this subject; I’m just an average Joe and these are my observations and opinions. I’ll leave you with this last suggestion, sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. You have your whole life to fall in love, but right now, what matters is you. You’ll never be satisfied with someone else until your satisfied with yourself.



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This article has 42 comments.


on Oct. 1 2010 at 3:03 pm
i love your story i can relate to most love storys people put on this amazing site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

perus said...
on Oct. 1 2010 at 9:22 am
i find this article to be extremly strotypical to be honest i dont think you know what your talking about you are obvisly speaking out of hurt

CeeMee said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 11:10 pm
CeeMee, Thornton, Colorado
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imagination is more important than knowledge.-Albert Einstein

I really do have to agree with the article. Yes most of the things stated are true, but not in every situation. I mean it's not that I think that I HAVE to have a boyfriend to be happy, but I just know it will distract me from things I need to move on from.

And well the situation with being in love so young, there is not an age number where you fall in love. I am not in any position to say I have been in love, because I do not know what it is. But I do know feelings can become very, very strong. I came to my mom with this discussion awhile back, and she said when you love someone, you just know it. That you know you love them when no matter what they put you through, you'll stand by their side, because you care about them.

 


on Aug. 18 2010 at 2:38 pm
leeleewolfie BRONZE, Newark, Delaware
3 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."

I agree with everything except the second one. I like when my boyfriend says stuff like that. I think it's sweet. Of course, he's the first one to act like this. The others have been uber-controlling, and this one says the "I don't care what we do as long as we're together" so I get to pick. And I have fun with him no matter what we do... but the rest I agree with!

on Jul. 27 2010 at 12:01 pm
magic-esi PLATINUM, Hyde Park, New York
27 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."

This is so true. I'm not saying it's not possible to be in love, but you should take time to make sure your feelings- and the other person's- are genuine. Love's not about social position or about sex, it's about caring about someone enough to do anything for them; to be happy just to be with them, not even in a relationship or anything. I really liked this article for its blunt honesty and for how everything in the article is true in real life. Guys should stop tricking girls into thinking there's something more than sex, and girls should stop falling for the lies guys feed them. Great point and more than that, great article.

xxzoE SILVER said...
on Jul. 5 2010 at 5:49 am
xxzoE SILVER, Ringwood East, Other
7 articles 5 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. ~Henry Ward Beecher

I can't start to tell you how happy I am to know that someone else out there thinks the same as i do. 

i am 15. I have some friends who are so obsessed with being loved by a boy that it drives them crazy. They loss respect for themselves. It makes me sick how a girl can be so unsure with herself that she would do anything for one boy. 

I never thought that I would fall in love before I was 25 ish. But it happened. My boyfriend is amazing. He understands me and why i do what i do (im not the most normal person). We have been together 3 and bit months and still he waits for that first kiss. I know that he respects me and what I believe in. Even though he says he loves me and I think he does I always think to myself- "hes one boy. Im 15. I have a long life ahead of me. If this works out great but if it doesn't thats fine too." 

I know these are just observations and I know that you don't want to be too be mean. But don't shut yourself down to finding someone nice. They might not last a life time  but you could find a great time. 

 


Taco1 BRONZE said...
on Apr. 15 2010 at 3:14 pm
Taco1 BRONZE, St.Paul, Minnesota
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Very well written story, I watch all the c*** that goes on in my sister's life with her boyfriend and how he ''loves her'' but he hits her WHY?

is that love?

I didnt think so.

but....i like the story :)


on Mar. 12 2010 at 6:16 am
TanazMasaba GOLD, Dhaka, Other
16 articles 10 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's Heaven on Earth."













---William W. Purkey

we have one thing in common, we both are observant.

on Mar. 12 2010 at 6:09 am
TanazMasaba GOLD, Dhaka, Other
16 articles 10 photos 214 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's Heaven on Earth."













---William W. Purkey

girl u just spoke my mind............

on Feb. 23 2010 at 4:50 am
ThatGirl.. GOLD, New Delhi, Other
10 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those people who say they know everything.annoy those of us who do..!

u go girl...!! luvvd the article...

trblue GOLD said...
on Feb. 1 2010 at 12:55 pm
trblue GOLD, Richmond, Virginia
14 articles 7 photos 141 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that mother@#?!&* upside the head. "

go head girl U R telling the truth.

Dustygiirl said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 1:53 pm
I hate it too!

it's like if you don't mean it, don't say it!

Someone's heart is on the line!!

on Dec. 20 2009 at 1:52 pm
haha agreed(:

love ya too Rocky Y!

Dustygiirl said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 1:51 pm
I know how you feel "/

but thanks for the comment! (:

Dustygiirl said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 1:50 pm
hahaha you're close(: but thank you!

on Dec. 19 2009 at 9:46 pm
biggerinfinities SILVER, Superior, Colorado
7 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Ahhhhh! someone who finally agrees w/ me!!!!! halilueigh! {did i spell that right?}

AndersN GOLD said...
on Dec. 19 2009 at 12:23 am
AndersN GOLD, Park City, Utah
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." -Michelangelo

That's hilarious.

AndersN GOLD said...
on Dec. 19 2009 at 12:23 am
AndersN GOLD, Park City, Utah
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." -Michelangelo

I hate it. I ABSOLUTELY hate it!!!

AndersN GOLD said...
on Dec. 19 2009 at 12:22 am
AndersN GOLD, Park City, Utah
10 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I saw an angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." -Michelangelo

To everyone on in the world:
How you use the power of procreation (In other words, SEX ) will determine your eternal happiness. Haver you ever read a book or seen a movie in which the sexy one has a happy ending? I didn't think so.
Most of you think it's ridiculous to wait until after marriage for sex , but I believe different. Most of my friends' parents are separated. Why? They had affairs before they were married. Waiting for your wife will strengthen your relationship with your spouse.
I'm not saying that if you have sex , you'll be miserable forever. I'm just saying that waiting for your right spouse to give yourself to will make you eternally happy.

on Nov. 15 2009 at 2:33 am
You sure can write.

You totally put my feelings and experiences into words.


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