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erase the hate

By , Kenosha, WI
don't say you hate us just because we're hypochondriacs. we don't need hate, we've grown up with it, and so have you, but hate has made us the way we are.
if we grew up in a world of love, like the world was intended to be, we never would be the way we are in the first place.
not that we'd be just like you, because people like us crave individuality whether we want to admit it or not. don't say 'i don't like you' because we take our pain
out on our wrists, you have you ways of taking out anger, too. i may take my anger out on my own body, but at least i don't take it out on other people
in the way you start fights everytime you come across an issue. don't despise me because i make myself throw up my dinner, we're all entitled to our opinions,
and if i think i am fat, thats my problem, right? maybe, i wouldn't be like this if barbies like you didnt walk past me in the hallways and laugh, talking about me
where you know i can still hear you. don't dislike me because i am on crazy diets and pills, it's the only way i know how to help my body. you don't need to worry
about it, youre already skinny. you hate me for the way you've made me, and this is the only way i know how to help myself.

of course, i am talking not only for myself, but for my people, my species. the world is evil, man is evil. we do what we can to destuct other peoples lives,
without even looking back. don't look at us and laugh, because our kind is a lot more humane than yours. wouldn't you rather us take out our angers on ourselves,
than you and your preppy-kind? we fight with love, and make friends with the losers. you fight to kill. you terrorize the losers, you terrorize the normal people,
just because youre above us in the class system. some of us get pushed in the hallways, and get called names, you judge us, you don't know us, you just classify
us as losers because thats your opinion, and don't take the time to try to get to know us, you don't have the time anyway, between making out with john, lunch
with katie, date with randy, sex with steve, and then of course you've got to get your nails done. i could call you a whore, but what would that do?
that would just make me a liar. i wouldn't call you a whore, i'd sit at your feet, begging to one day be your friend, while your boyfriend kicks me and tells me
im in his way, then you'd simply walk around me, and laugh in the distance. then, some of us, dye our hair crazy colors, wear crazy clothes, and hide our
faces, those of us are the more confident type. we walk proud with our hair in our face, craving attention, showing creativity. we get attention for our clothes,
but meanwhile our faces are still hidden, attracting the attention to who we'd like to be, but not the real us.

its how the world treats us, it always has. there's been a "us" in every generation. and this isnt just a opinion, THIS IS MY LIFE. i live it everyday. i'm a little different,
though. first, i was an emo. then i was unpopular. next, i hid my face. but now, i've found equilibrium. i'm a scene kid. i wear skinny jeans, and dye my hair crazy colors.
i don't match. i have my own style. i wear gauges, and get multiple peircings. i listen to loud music, and go to concerts. i am not afraid to show my face. i wear it
proudly wherever i go. i am not afraid to be jenna ruland, the scene kid freak who headbangs and writes poetry. jenna ruland, who is fourteen, and doesnt
want to grow up. that girl that makes friends by talking to random people on the street. that hippie that fights with love, recycles, and snowboards. that chica who
shops at hottopic, but isnt afraid to wear a little arepostle. the one that dreams of skateboarders with the turquise eyes. now i know who i am, and im proud of that.
i don't crave attention anymore, because i know how to get it, and i don't have to cut myself, or throw up to get it. im just merely asking you not to hate these people.
i was one of them, i know what it's like. i know how it feels to be an outsider, but i've overcome that. and they will, too, im time.



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This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

dintandmint This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 2, 2012 at 7:49 am
That really struck a chord with me. I am i a constant fight with mankind to scream out "Here I am, I am important!" The way I dress, I act. I don't care anymore what they (the haters) think of me. But I care about about the people who do care.
 
smileysdeadvalentine said...
Sept. 29, 2009 at 10:05 am
i used to cut, that was a long time ago. my best friends are emo/goth we do not let anyone makes us feel less. its good you do not cut any more....
svd
 
Rockerray101 said...
Jul. 23, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Wow. Dark. I know how it feels to be an outcast and mankind is evil. This is good. It's good you don't cut anymore. And alot of my friends (well two) are emo. I always stand up for them.
 
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