I believe in losing to gain. That might seem very controversial to most but has a underlining message. 

The fall of junior year was enlightening to say the least. I started the school year off with a group of friends from church. Ten friends who were more like family, to be exact. We grew so close that their opinions mattered more to me than anyone. Everyone had each others backs trying to protect one another with the best intentions. Until, the intentions weren’t so pure. 

In the beginning of November in the same year I started talking to the new guy. At this point all six foot one of him had a not so good reputation, but of course I ended up falling for him. His name is Tyler for reference. One night, I decided to bring Tyler to church so that he could meet my friends. They didn’t seem to like him because of his player reputation. They also thought he was really weird. I started to take their opinions to heart because if they saw something I didn’t see then obviously they were trying to protect my heart like they said they were. By the end of November Tyler and I started dating. This is where the friendships I once had started to crumble. 

Rumors kill most friendships. I am proof of that in a sense. My friends abhorred him so much that they started rumors about him.  Although, These rumors did not affect what we felt for eachother even till this day. At this same time I started to become best friends with two girls named Kenzie and Katie. They were the only ones trying to really help me. I was listening to the rumors my friends were telling me because me and Tyler had only been dating for two weeks and I thought they were trying to protect me.  Needless to say, they were not. So, when I decided to trust Tyler, Katie, and Kenzie my friends got mad at me and started talking about me behind my back. 

I realized I was feeding into the friend groups lies and listening to them. Tyler was telling me the truth but I discounted what he and his sister Katie told me. I mean, why would your childhood friends who are supposed to be family ever do something to tear you down when you need their support the most? 

I stopped hanging out with the group when I realized it was just flat out draining to talk to them. Kenzie was, and still is my backbone, my ride or die, and my true best friend. Kenzie is a real friend to say the absolute least. In Proverbs chapter 27 verse 9 it says, “Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence”. Real friendships are refreshing and shouldn’t feel like a burden. 

Deciding to distance myself from my “family” was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make. Kenzie picked me from the ground up and showed me how real friends treat each other. Losing to gain to me means, you have to get rid of all the dead weight even if it hurts to gain the new and improved. I still have so much love for my old friends, but it’s from a distance. 

I believe real friends will stay with you through thick and thin. No matter what happens, real friends stay constant.