All Bottled Up

June 2, 2009
By CalebG91 BRONZE, Sherburne, New York
CalebG91 BRONZE, Sherburne, New York
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

I myself cannot cope with my problems. I let them sit and one on top of another, like building blocks, they pile up. Before I know it I have a structure inside me. It is a structure built upon a foundation of hate and anger. After this has peaked I need to vent… but on what or who. The sad answer is anyone and everything including myself. I do things to hurt other people and myself… not physically but mentally. I purposely hurt people’s feelings. I do things that cripple myself in school. For example I do not do my schoolwork in spite of my mother who nags me constantly. I have become what I hated as a child. I have become a burn out loser. I’m 18 with no job or desire to get one. I should do schoolwork but I would much rather be with my friends. They are the only people that matter to me other than my two brothers. I have so many thoughts racing through my head, none of which would make sense to anyone. I suffer from depression on my own account that I do not take my medication. I have no self-pity nor do I ask for pity from anyone. I make decisions that will affect my life negatively for the remainder of it. This past year has destroyed my hope for anything I had going for me. Which wasn’t much to begin with.

When I was a child my father many things that I apply to my everyday life and some that I completely ignore. The most important thing he taught me was… What goes around comes around. Meaning simply, you get what you give. Lately I haven’t been giving a lot, not getting too much either. Those word are probably the most difficult things to understand and accept. If I gave what I got my whole life, the people on the receiving end would be greatly disappointed. My everyday life consist of being rudely waken, sent to a place that I hate so much I can’t stand it sometimes, then I go back to the “home”… some home that is. It’s a roof over my head and not a single thing more to me. I hate being home. The constant bickering and blame… just kind of puts the icing on the cake. Every chance I get to leave my house I’m gone in a split second. I don’t wave or look back only because it will be later that night when I return I will be asked a million questions and blamed for a thousand things. Hate is a strong word and should never be directed towards a person… but for gods sake I really dislike the place I’m in at the place I’m at.I'm a happier person now, but there are bumps in everyones road. You just have to have the right tires.


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I'm a happier person now, but there are bumps in everyones road.

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This article has 1 comment.


Aaroka said...
on Mar. 6 2011 at 3:58 pm
Aaroka, Phillipsburg, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
The Stranger Walks Within.

There is a whole wide world out there, Are you ready for it?

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.

Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Consider the postage stamp: Its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

I really liked this! 

 





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