I used to wonder why people had a hard time opening up. I’d never had that problem. You’d ask, I’d vent. I could talk for hours about whom, why, how, and when everything happened. I’d give you in depth detail and not expect a word in return but a simple “You deserve better than this.” I’d had my heart broken, ran over, and trampled, yet still talked the whole way through. I’d sympathized with the lonely and lifted their spirits lending them the hope I'd radiated. But I think I understand now. I think I know why people keep to themselves the secrets of their hearts. These links to the soul can be disconnected and used. They can be taken out and beaten, spread around or ignored. I think I understand now why I should not trust anymore. Why I can no longer tell the truth. Nothing is bothering the solid brick wall I now call my face as I wander waiting for nothing. I am left with nothing but the notion that I had the chance and I lost it. I am alone, embarrassed, and empty. I feel nothing but the barrenness that once was my pounding spirit and hear nothing but the echoes of your promises.
I Used to Wonder
May 13, 2009