A Peace of Mind | Teen Ink

A Peace of Mind

May 23, 2011
By Branster BRONZE, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Branster BRONZE, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

It had been months ago since I had come into a turning point deep inside the shallow depths of my subconscious. The indoor corridors of a forgotten building seemed so dark. The shattered fragments of my memory cannot recall the place, for I had hardly heeded my own surroundings. The hallway leading to the door continued forever. I reflected on thoughts rendering me to a state of solitude. The lighting of the corridor was dark through my sight as I focused blindly into the abyss of my mind. A heavy sense of apathy lingered in the darkness of my head. I appeared to be lifeless as I held my stride in an upright posture with a blank expression on my face, like a man without a soul. There was no anger. No sadness. No emotion. I walked down the wide path as it seemed to become narrower and narrower until I was convinced that I would not fit through. However, as I had finally fixed my gaze upon my surroundings, I realized that the illusions of my mind fooled me once again. The width of the corridor remained the same as it was moments before. As it had too many times before, the perceptions in my mind blinded me from the reality that stood right in front of me.

Bright rays of sunlight shined across the sky as I stepped out of the building. The blue color filling the sky overhead caught my view as the streaks of light blinded my vision for moments. Lost in thought, I broke my stride and stood still, continuing to ponder. I lost all sight of my own surroundings as I dove deeper into the depths of my mind. Somehow, the streaks of sunlight that had touched me gave me a sort of revelation. Symbolically, I had stepped from the dark tunnel of ignorance out into the bright light of newfound understanding.

The sense of realization made me numb. Before, I had been angry. I was confused. I had been tormented as I struggled to find answers. Tormented like an animal in a cold, small cage with no way out. However, that moment, I realized that I had all the answers all along; I simply did not recognize them. As I was numb, I felt utterly indifferent from my suffering. My distress was now dead. However, it did not convert into feelings of happiness or relief. It had only diminished. My long journey had finally come to an end. I reached a state of inner peace. It was no peace of happy emotion; no peace of joy or cheer that usually followed a passing hardship. Rather, it was simply a peace of mind—nothing more. My troubles had flown away in a breeze, along with my old hopes for happiness. There was no more anger. No more sadness. No more emotion.

This new freedom was a sort of luxury. It was a luxury to know not only the ending of a wearing path, but also the beginning of a road in which its nature was of my choosing. After stepping out of the building, the street I had chosen to wander did not matter. All that mattered was whether I had walked or skipped.


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