THH: All Hail the New Celeb-God, the YouTuber | Teen Ink

THH: All Hail the New Celeb-God, the YouTuber

September 26, 2015
By AlaNova ELITE, Naperville, Illinois
AlaNova ELITE, Naperville, Illinois
257 articles 0 photos 328 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dalai Lama said, "There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called YESTERDAY and the other is called TOMORROW, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live..."


It has one face, several channels, thousands of followers, near immortality, and the capacity to engross a viewer for endless periods of time. Its web worth threatens to supersede rockstars, politicians, singers, and actors. And everyone wants a piece of it.

You guessed it. It’s The YouTuber—the picturesquely public, in-your-face, enigmatic personality who might amass millions of views a day. Like Entertainment Weekly so keenly states, this new breed of human being braces your electronic future between their tweeting, facebooking, pinning, posting thumbs. They’re everything from beauty gurus, to music maniacs, to expressive geeks, sharing their opinions, loves, fears, sounds, and tutorials, with you.

It’s a diversity dreamland. Think big, in terms of different races, genders, sexual preferences, classes, and ages. But there are, amazingly, at least a few traits everyone in this magical online world share in common. Astoundingly independent and fast-standing unique, they hallmark what it means to be a millennial in a whizzing global society. They’re all self-made, as well; in fact, there’s an emphasis on personal professionalism when all you need is a working camera and something to film. Sometimes, not even that. And their cult of followers, namely any yahoo wifi-possessor around, bluntly redefines what it means to be a fan.

Did I mention millions? Literally masses of people line up behind these inescapable artists, the evidence being tallied up in a video’s amount of views. But what makes the likes of GloZell, JennaMarbles, iJustine, Tobuscus, PewDiePie, ERB, Michelle Phan, and the Fine Bros so gosh darn interesting that their subscribers can number from a few to nearly 40 million? (Looking at you, Swedish web comedian and vlogger). If you jump online, it’ll nab you immediately. YouTube videos are like personalized TV, fast, direct, slaphappy, and bafflingly addictive. With about 20-30 some recommendation thumbnails on the side, any of YouTube’s billions of different pages is capable of guiding you through hours of mindlessly unstoppable entertainment. Best of all, there’s the illusion of intimacy that comes from a familiar face and easygoing conversation, only (*phew*) freed of any theme of mutual contribution. The YouTuber talks. You stare.

A new slew of vocabulary has also arisen from the explosion-like birth of the world’s most dizzying socialite center yet. Terms like “vlog,” “subscribe,” “playlist,” “haul,” and “Vid Con” trump the first language of the web, English (after binary code, of course). Sterile noun expressions like “parody” and “channel” have infused the latest generation with a new secret universal code, and have infused the generation before with incessant confusion. After all, “troll” now has dual meaning (verb and noun!) in the eBook. 

Not all arms have opened, however. Alongside the reception of fans screaming bloody murder at the top of their lungs, some choose to step back. With big names like Sal Khan transforming the way people learn literally anything under the sun, prodigy instrumentalist Kurt Hugo Schneider shifting the way new voices are heard and discovered, and comedian Superwoman how parent stabs are played, it seems like physical presence has ceased in necessity. Introverts swell in number: actual conversation becomes arguably choked down to which words make it through the speaker, and image completely dictated by how good you look from 0:00 to 3:13. All we need, it seems, is to make sure our screens are fully charged, and we can nuke our brain cells until our hearts stop beating.

But whether you’re wildly for The YouTuber or wildly against, it’s clear this newly crowned celebrity god has no intentions of leaving. What the future will become, shaped by their influence, seems to reveal itself through every new uploaded video. The world will (literally) be watching. And if you decide you too want to become someone someday, and fast, get over there and get viral. We’ll worship you next.


The author's comments:

What does "THH" stand for? Good question! It's THE HOLY HITCHHIKE... No, I’m not even religious. The name is Ala Nova, and you have entered the domain of my discussion, thought, and paraphernalia. Enjoy, and let loose your commentary and suggestions below. A new column every Friday!


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