Paris Hilton Goes to College!

By
Paris Hilton Goes to College!
Jack Knowsalot

MASSACHUSETTS— It seems that Harvard Law School has a new member enrolled into its program. “I can’t believe I gotsted accepted. That’s so hot,” said Paris Hilton, seeming excited to get the news she’s accepted. Paris Hilton got accepted from her amazing ACT scores. “Yeah the teachers just, like, let me, like, just take the whole ACT test, like, home, and everyone else had to take it at some public thingy. That’s so hot. I got a 15. I guess the lower the numbers the better,” said Hilton.

We all know Harvard is one of the hardest schools to get in to. You cannot only be a 4.0 student to get even acknowledged for Harvard, but you have to be in many social clubs. Only 9% of extremely intelligent students are accepted each year. “My daddy bought, like, the whole school for me. So it was pretty impossible for me, like, not to get entered. That’s so hot,” said the awfully confident Hilton.

It seems that the life of the rich and the famous is very difficult these days. Sometimes you just forget things like, Wall-mart. Shouldn’t it sell walls? Well, the talented Hilton thought so, “I mean I went there with my super hot friends, looking for super hot wall stuff, and there wasn’t any hot wall stuff. I was bummed.”

Paris shared with me what she has learned throughout her college career, which has been a whole two weeks. “I learned that a two and a two is something ballerinas dance with. That’s so hot; I think I’m going to have to buy one for myself. Make it my own trend,” Hilton said, “I have thought really hard about this, and when I grow up, I want to become a rocket surgeon!”





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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

glitters426 said...
Jan. 3, 2009 at 5:46 am
Yea, this was kinda immature... the title seemed really interesting though, which is why I clicked on it. I liked the way that it was like a newspaper report, but really got off topic with the wal-mart thing, then it just got really weird...
 
nrthrndwnpr said...
Jan. 3, 2009 at 4:02 am
Sorry, this is just a little rant towards Paris, not a work of writing.
 
bob said...
Jan. 3, 2009 at 12:12 am
jeez people calm down... not everything on this site needs to be hardcore emotional. sometimes a little humor can do some good! creative, my friend, keep going with this =]
 
aiviloeyaj said...
Jan. 2, 2009 at 11:46 pm
this is good! and it's not criticizing blonds, more like Paris Hilton.
 
mbaksl said...
Jan. 2, 2009 at 8:23 pm
i think this is really funny. paris hilton is a terrible influence for people, and if she was really smart, she'd know not to act so dumb on tv. arent you supposed to just be yourself? if she's acting stupid, she is stupid, that's it. and i dont think this is supposed to be a bash against blondes, either. great job
 
artofthedeath said...
Jan. 2, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Once again, this article annoyed me and was written with a closed mind.
 
Cici J. said...
Jan. 2, 2009 at 3:32 pm
The awkward paragraphs and sentences in this "article" make the author sound about as idiotic as their fictional Paris Hilton.
 
artofthedeath said...
Dec. 18, 2008 at 2:29 am
Wow... what an immature few paragraphs. I mean, this is more like something that would be on Disney Channel. Um... yeah... Paris Hilton is spoiled and very smart... seriously, she really is... well, she could be, if she wasn't such an entertainer. She knew where she screwed up at least...
 
kelsay.chick96 said...
Dec. 8, 2008 at 6:10 pm
This is sooo STUPID!!!!! Just because she is a blonde doesn't mean she isn't smart. She just puts on a dumb blonde front for the tv. I'm blonde and have had straight A's my Whole schol career!
 
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