Trust... What is trust? I haven't been able to trust anyone for over three years. My dad has been a pretty terrible, he never actually cared about me. He cared about his drugs and his friends. I learned to not trust anymore, I have no emotions anymore. I am walking dead. I pretend that I'm all right but only I know the truth. The truth is that what he did killed me. He killed all my emotions. I have to pretend I'm okay around my boyfriend but I think he secretly knows something isn't right with me. My teachers are worried about me, but all I want to do is finally feel something. I feel nothing inside, I'm numb. If I killed myself it would kill my mom also, and I couldn't put her thru that. Shes scared I'm going to harm myself again. To actually feel something, I hit myself in the head. To feel alive for a few seconds then just back into the numb state, iv learned as normal.