Oprah's Plot for World Domination

March 23, 2012
By prinz_peach BRONZE, Albuquerque, New Mexico
prinz_peach BRONZE, Albuquerque, New Mexico
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
Today you are you, and that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
-Dr. Seuss

The other day I was walking down the stairs to see what my mother was watching on TV. As I watched the T.V., I saw what appeared to be Oprah Winfrey! I was shocked, seeing as how I sat with my mom as she and her friends almost died crying during the last 45 minutes of Oprah’s last T. V. episode. I asked why Oprah was still on T.V., and my mother happily explained that Oprah bought the Discovery Health channel, for the start of her new network, and she airs various programs on that channel. That’s when it hit me, the only reason Oprah stopped her regular afternoon T.V. show and opted for a whole network, is because she’s initiating her plan. Her plan for world domination!
Her world domination scheme began on September 8, 1986, when her first Episode aired. Ever since that dreadful date, Oprah developed into a great power house, making quite a name for herself. Now, at the age of 55 or 65 (no one knows her real age), she’s joined the ranks of first-name-only celebrities such as Cher, Aristotle, Madonna, Usher and God. She invested millions of dollars in charities, and her talk show aired in at least 75 different countries! The Power of Oprah proves to be an aid in her world domination scheme. I remember my first encounter with the Power of Oprah. I was about 6 or 7 years old, when I felt the powers of Oprah Winfrey. I was sitting in the living room with my babysitter, Mrs. Hardy, when I heard the voice of a loud Angel announce, “Welcome to the Oprah Winfrey show!” I immediately turned towards the T.V., her Voice was captivating, and after the theme song I was hooked. My mind, my thoughts, and my emotions; were all slave to Oprah’s powers. I can’t quite remember what she was even talking about, but seeing the tears roll down my babysitters face, caused me to realize that I was in the presence of something greater than myself, greater than the “pop” I just received on the back of my head when I accidentally sat on the remote and changed the channel. Oprah was affecting people she never even met. As I got older I noticed how much she was reaching the lives and minds of others, I was once again in my babysitters house. My babysitter, armed with about 10 cases of Slim Fast sat right in front of the T.V to watch Oprah’s latest episode. Apparently Oprah said that drinking Slim Fast really helped her lose weight, and seeing as how this was her “weight loss” episode, that day Oprah was going to reveal her new size. I remember how proud and a little shocked we all were when we saw how little she was! In that one episode alone, my babysitter drank about 7 cans of Slim Fast. She was determined to lose that weight as fast as Oprah! And thus I noticed the brain washing part of Oprah’s World domination scheme at work!
Everyday millions of women and men, (yea men too) fall into her world domination scheme. Signing up for book clubs endorsed by Oprah; disgusting drinks that Oprah encourages; and expensive dog food that she feeds her dogs. Even when my mom and I were shopping for her new car, all the salesman had to say was, “this car comes with the Oprah station on the Sirus Satellite Radio,” and my mom was completely sold. And thus, one by one, person by person, Oprah brain washes people. And when the appropriate time comes, she can call upon her followers to help her take over the world.
If the evidence isn’t overwhelmingly convincing enough; for the first time ever, Oprah endorsed a presidential Candidate, Barack Obama. Oprah used her television show, her T.V. network, and her radio station to receive support. When she accompanied President Obama on his 2009 election rallies in Pennsylvania, at least 30,000 (give or take) of her supporters where in tow. Many of which have been quoted to say, “If Oprah likes something or someone, then it must be the best.” And at the end of the election who was standing in the audience of his election speech, but a crying Oprah, with what appeared to be her fans, gathered around her. In essence her influence is so strong she can even win votes for presidential candidates. To think, Oprah can be the reason a candidate wins or loses a race. If that’s not part of a scheme for world domination, then Lady Gaga isn’t real, and Will Smith isn’t the greatest actor in the universe.

Therefore one can assume, Oprah is putting her world domination plan in affect. Not only does she reach people through all spectrums of the media, but she also proves to have a big hand in politics. In addition, she gave out cars to her entire studio audience – for no real reason. She gave Doctor Phil a T.V. show – for no real reason. At one point in time, on ABC, she presented a show where she gave millions of dollars to “do-gooders” in the community — for no real reason. What are her intentions for such actions, if not to brain wash people into helping her in her schemes for world domination? Do not be fooled by Oprah and her many brainwashing devices. It’s all an attempt to dominate our world!

The author's comments:
In writing this paper, I hope someone gets a kick out of it, or can even relate to my experience. But mainly I wrote this to just get a good grade and a couple of laughs! It's a satire and although some of what I'm saying has truth, sometimes the truth is exaggerated a little bit.I really hope you enjoy.
P.S. I really do love Oprah!!

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This article has 4 comments.

Beautifl One said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 1:33 pm
Court, this is an awesome article, great reading and inspiring to all of us that if you can distinguish that fact about Oprah, then you my child is wise beyond your years.  I've been saying it for years.  Ms. O is definitely on a quest to conquer the world--or Media main stream. Keep it up and much love and blessings to you. Luv, Ms. P-M, JC, KS

pamb911 said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 11:59 am
I love the humor and yes, Oprah has touched many.  I just wished I could have received one of those cars "for no reason"

Happy Face said...
on Apr. 6 2012 at 11:19 am
I love the author's take on this article. Good job and future success!! I too love Oprah!!!

Karen said...
on Mar. 28 2012 at 7:44 pm
This is so funny! Keep it up

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