Time Bomb

February 6, 2010
By kread18 DIAMOND, Berkeley, California
kread18 DIAMOND, Berkeley, California
65 articles 0 photos 33 comments

When I stumbled upon a Facebook group called “waking up in the morning and feeling like P. Diddy,” I couldn’t help but become a fan. But probably not for the reasons that you think. I am perfectly aware that that popular American music is crap, as a rule, and the reason that the industry is able to sell the public on garbage like “Tik Tok” by Kesha, is because when you mix the immature messages, unnecessary sex appeal, and general stupidity with a catchy beat, it miraculously passes as music.
I don’t even think Kesha’s a real name now that I think about it. And I’m not entirely sure what the dollar sign through the ‘S” is doing. We know that America has become an image-obsessed, but is putting the universal symbol for money in the middle of one’s name really necessary? Also, the words “tick” and “tock” have C’s in them. That makes them real words. It’s okay Kesha, most of America can’t spell either.

Kesha first appeared in Flo Rida’s “Right Round,” but nobody knew she even existed because she was not credited, and did not receive any money for the part. I honestly thought that scratchy, annoying voice backing up Flo Rida’s meaningless words was Katy Perry (who’s first single famously stated, “I kissed a girl and I liked it”). Kesha actually appeared in the music video for this song, but was not credited for that either. The world works in funny ways sometimes.
After Kesha’s entrance into the American world of popular music (which, it would seem, does not require any sort of special talent, just a lot of money or a pretty face), Tik Tok reached number one in five countries. Her first album, Animal, debuted at number one as well. Congrats Kesha, in a country where money means success, sex is a media tool, and intelligence is frowned upon, you are number one. Empty lyrics, shallow messages, and shameless promiscuity -- looks like you have every component necessary to make it to the top.
Tik Tok plays on 107.9 The End roughly every thirteen minutes. You may say that comparing this to such mind-control as seen in 1984 by George Orwell may be going too far, but honestly when something as numbing as this song plays in your head repetitively for a week and three days, you start to wonder what it’s doing to your IQ.
This morning, an eight-year-old girl was phoned from 107.9 to discover that she had won tickets and backstage passes to Justin Beiber. After she stopped screaming and crying into the receiver and describing her future wedding to the rising pop star, Tik Tok blared through the speakers, tainting this little girl’s ears. It’s comforting to know that the message we are sending the young women of our future is to kick the dudes to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger, and to party till the po-po shut you down. Solid advice Kesha, keep it up.
Historically, Kesha has puked in Paris Hilton’s closet after crashing her party, and broken into Prince’s home so she could give him her demo, because she was desperate for the fame that would come from her big break. Let’s just say Prince never contacted her. The future is wide open for this girl, and her next single, already on the rise, is titled “Blah Blah Blah.” I guess she couldn’t think of anything more creative. Its okay though, because that’s all anyone hears when she sings anyway, and people generally don’t have any idea what she’s “ta-ta-ta-talkin’ ‘bout”. Somehow, I don’t think this is going to get her very far in life. Tik tok, looks like your music career’s almost up, Kesha.


The author's comments:
The theme this week in creative writing was "Rant"... this is what came out.

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 14 comments.


LastChapter said...
on Apr. 28 2011 at 6:57 pm
LastChapter, Hempstead, New York
0 articles 0 photos 215 comments

Favorite Quote:
(couldn't think of anything better at the time) "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."-Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.

this was so perfectly said, i couldn't have said it any better my $elf. 

mikey220 said...
on Dec. 19 2010 at 1:55 pm

PWN, have you even heard Kiss N Tell? What about Stephen? Blah Blah Blah? Hungover? Party at a rich dude's house? Backstabber? Dinosaur? VIP? Cannibal for pete's sake?? We r who we r? Sleazy?

How on earth can you say Tik Tok and Your Love is My Drug are the dirtiest and Stephen and Kiss N Tell are the cleanest?? What songs have you been listening to??


on Dec. 18 2010 at 9:16 pm
PearlWhiteNight BRONZE, No, Pennsylvania
3 articles 7 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." -Mark Twain

Animal, Stephen, Get in Line (its not "nice" but its perfectly clean), Hungover, Kiss N Tell, and Dancing with Tears in my Eyes are all perfectly clean songs, and Boots and Boys, and VIP really aren't that bad either. All the others are either about getting drunk or drugs (including Tik Tok and Your Love is my Drug). Thats why I think they're definitely not the cleanest. at all.

TheJust ELITE said...
on Dec. 18 2010 at 8:08 am
TheJust ELITE, Ellenton, Florida
254 articles 202 photos 945 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I feel that a hero is somebody who will stand up for their values and what they believe in and that can take any form. People that have values and have thought them through rather than those who just do what they’re told."-Skandar Keynes

"When it’

Um have you listened to the rest of the album? What about Take it Off or Party at a rich dude's house? I couldn't even get through the songs cause they were so vulgar. Love is my Drug, the only thing wrong with it is "Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement" and I like Tik Tok because of the chorus and last verse. Believe me they are not the worst...

on Dec. 17 2010 at 9:52 pm
PearlWhiteNight BRONZE, No, Pennsylvania
3 articles 7 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society." -Mark Twain

Haha, the cleanest songs on the album? they're probably the "dirtiest"! Um, dunno if you've listened to the album...

on Jul. 8 2010 at 12:34 pm
songofheaven BRONZE, East Amherst, New York
2 articles 2 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have found power in the mysteries of thought. -Euripides

This is quite true, actually. You have little girls listening to promiscuous music performed by artists like Kesha, and they get certain influences bearing down upon them. It isn't healthy to be a little girl and singing vulgar and sex-oriented rap/pop.

on Jun. 2 2010 at 7:12 pm
magic-esi PLATINUM, Hyde Park, New York
27 articles 0 photos 231 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."

This was SO FUNNY. It is completely true. I used to like Kesha's songs just because they had a catchy beat, so they weren't as annoying to listen to as Justin Bieber or Young Money, but I agree with you. This article was hilarious! You should DEFINITELY keep writing.

TheJust ELITE said...
on May. 31 2010 at 7:29 am
TheJust ELITE, Ellenton, Florida
254 articles 202 photos 945 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I feel that a hero is somebody who will stand up for their values and what they believe in and that can take any form. People that have values and have thought them through rather than those who just do what they’re told."-Skandar Keynes

"When it’

I really enjoyed this! I personally like Tik Tok and Your Love Is My Drug, but that's all. Those are the two cleanest songs on the album, so I didn't bother listening to any more. But thank you for posting this! You're entirely correct!!

TheJust ELITE said...
on May. 31 2010 at 7:25 am
TheJust ELITE, Ellenton, Florida
254 articles 202 photos 945 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I feel that a hero is somebody who will stand up for their values and what they believe in and that can take any form. People that have values and have thought them through rather than those who just do what they’re told."-Skandar Keynes

"When it’

Actually Kesha is her real name...not the dollor sign thing, but it is her real name....

on May. 5 2010 at 6:46 pm
IsobelFree DIAMOND, Hamilton, Other
71 articles 20 photos 298 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As long as there is open road, the familiar has the most formidable competitor." - Anonymous

Oh my gosh I LOVE this! I really enjoyed your tone that you kept throughout the piece, and I COMPLETELY agree with you. Great job! (Y)

on May. 5 2010 at 5:15 pm
krazykathleen BRONZE, Edwardsville, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"7/5 of all people do not understand fractions." -Unknown

Great job!!!! This is sooo true and I loved the ending!! I was laughing out loud.

on Feb. 24 2010 at 12:53 am
kread18 DIAMOND, Berkeley, California
65 articles 0 photos 33 comments
thanks, that was the goal :) haha i love writing stuff like this... feel free to post comments on my other pieces!

on Feb. 14 2010 at 8:33 pm
Kristy_loves_Keats PLATINUM, Arvada, Colorado
23 articles 0 photos 99 comments
this made me laghe so hard i loved it

on Feb. 10 2010 at 5:01 pm
kread18 DIAMOND, Berkeley, California
65 articles 0 photos 33 comments
I know there's a couple of mistakes, and it needs some work, but let me know what you guys think :)


SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!