I Don't Understand

By , State College, PA
Our world has become trash. The streets are deadly, the air is deadly, the people are deadly. I don't understand. Some people find that drugs and alcohol help them cope with their problems. It may ease the pain, but only cause more in the end. Violence over drugs is out of control. Alcohol is out of control. We need to come up with a way for troubled people to cope before they abuse drugs or alcohol. My best friend's mom was an alcoholic. She is sober today, but her drinking dug so deep into their lives, their whole family is still feeling the effects and always will. My friend grew up with her father telling her that she couldn't tell anyone about her mom. Her older sister was having trouble coping, so my friend had to step up and raise the three of them herself. She not only had to take care of herself, her brother, and her sister, but her mom. All her mom would do is yell from her bed making them cater to her every wish. Can you imagine a five or six year old carrying such burdens? She managed to keep her happy-go-lucky front when she was still an innocent child, but as the pressure grew, she cracked. Not having a mom was hard. We stopped being friends for a while, just because she was so hard to be around. Her mom had fallen down the stairs drunk. They were forced to care for her while their father was at work. It was then when it hit her mom. She had to take care of herself so she could be there for her kids. She finally saw their pain, because she was sober because she had been in the hospital. She went to rehab and came back the same damaged frail body, but with a new mindset. The effects of her drinking are still evident today. She shakes, she still smokes, she can't walk far distances. She can't exercise without becoming short-breathed. My friend became literally insane with her mom hovering over her shoulder, embarrassing her, whatever. She was medicated and treated for her mother's mistakes. She felt outcast and the pain of her mother's stupid misjudgements. Her mother is so torn up about her life, she can't go a day without crying hysterically. She was submitted to a mental hospital a couple times, and my friend was threatened a few times that she would be sent there too. She snaps at her mom, but it is her mom who instigates it. My mom tells me about these outbursts. I don't believe them. My friend is the nicest, most considerate and kind-hearted person I have ever met. She just lives a miserable life. She is socially awkward, she has acne, abnormally large boobs, a few extra pounds(because her meds make her really hungry), and she has a gorgeous sister who is better able to hide her pain. My friend once forgot to take her meds. She was sleeping over my house, and she started getting all weird and touchy-feely and laughing in a way she doesn't normally. It sounds stupid, but it scared me. It scared me to think that this was really her. That the friend i knew wasn't herself. But maybe the medication treated the pain, so she could be herself. Anyway, i realized how screwed up she was because of her mom. i wanted to strangle her mom. I was troubled by this and when she asked me what was wrong, i tried to talk to her about it. I made her flip out on the phone and by the end we were both hysterically crying. My mom had to drive over to her house to make sure she was okay. i don't know how to be there for her through all this, because when we hang out we just have fun. We don't talk about hardships, because that would just make us sad. So when we needed to, when she needed to, I couldn't. I have another friend that she hates that i talk to seriously but can also have fun with. She doesn't have that, so i feel horrible not hanging out with her, but honestly, i don't always want to. School is hard for her, not academically, but socially. She hated it there, so she went to a school with therapy sessions and coping classes throughout the day. I miss her so much, and everyone at school is asking where she is. A couple people have seen her outside of school, and i am just hoping that word doesn't get out about where she's been. I have to lie to people, but she is telling different lies than i am. Our lives are so twisted and intertwined with so much pain and confusion, all because of her mother's alcohol addiction. If single people are stupid enough to abuse alcohol or drugs of any kind, there isn't really anyone around them to feel the effects or to help them, so they just keep drinking. My friend's mom is lucky enough to have a group of people that care about her so much and put up with her, just because they know she is working to get better every day. Her mistakes really burned this family, but they, my mom, and I are helping to restore their original happiness. It will never be perfect again, but that is just the consequence of my friend's mom's actions. THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!





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ChamilleMaria said...
Nov. 28, 2010 at 4:02 pm
i totally agree with you! drugs and alcohol are desrtoying our universe completely!
 
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