Lyle and I.

May 18, 2010
1:27 A.M, I looked at the clock as I awoke suddenly. Then I realized that Lyle wasn’t in bed. He was supposed to be home shortly from the movies and I had fallen asleep. I immediately ran to the bathroom and began to bang on the door. No answer, only the sound of running water and the peaking of light from under the door. I knew something was wrong. It had happened again. I bolted up the stairs to wake his parents. We hurriedly got the key and ran downstairs to unlock the door. When Rob and I looked inside the sight was unforgettable. My boyfriend lying on the floor, blue. A spoon on the counter, syringe on the floor. He immediately started performing CPR on Lyle, he yelled at me to call 911 but I couldn’t move. Jacob had come down the stairs, Lyle’s brother. Rob instructed him to call 911, I never heard him make the call but I know he did. Lyle still wasn’t breathing, Rob asked me to keep checking his pulse. I reached for his arm, I noticed the underneath of his fingernails were discolored and I thought to myself this is it, the drugs finally won. As I grabbed his arm I felt for a pulse in his wrist, nothing. Continually I did this, and after what seemed like an eternity I felt a faint heartbeat, I was ecstatic. Then I looked up only to see bright crimson blood pouring out of his nose. I screamed hysterically, at this point Lyle had started to breath. Every time he took a breath he would suck in blood, so I had to wipe his nose each time he exhaled to stop this from happening. Ambulance arrived and took over. They gave him a shot of adrenaline and nothing happened. His heart was only beating 8 times per minute. As they removed him from the house a helicopter landed in the front yard. I could barely stand from the ungodly wind that thing created. Before they lifted him off I was standing in the front door crying. They decided to try one more shot of adrenaline, and as they injected him his foot jumped. That was my only hope that my boyfriend would live. One of the first responders came over to talk to us, she said this was the worst she had ever seen and she didn’t think he was going to make it. As they lifted him away in the helicopter we jumped in the van to race to the hospital. The hour long drive was the longest of my life. Out of 5 people in the vehicle not one said a word. When we got there he was more conscious. He was proving them wrong. I held his hand as they wheeled him away and he started to cry. I began to cry harder, I couldn’t stand to see his pain. He was in the hospital for a week and I stayed with him the whole time. He recovered miraculously and came home.
This is my story of drug abuse. I found Lyle a total of three times overdosed and many more passed out. I couldn’t count the times he was high. Even after this incident he continues to use heroin. I spent two and a half years of my life with this man and cared for him more than I have ever cared for anyone in my life. We ended our relationship back in December and I still think about him every day but I cannot go back. I can’t handle the stress and effects of drugs. I can’t help him, only he can help himself. He has been to rehab 3 times, 2 while we were dating. He doesn’t want to be free of drugs. Addicts can only stop if they truly want it. I pray for him every day. The stress and heartbreak of dating an addict is a learning experience for sure. Don’t waste your time trying to make them quit, it doesn’t work. No matter how much love you have for one another. Drugs tear your relationship to pieces.
I just want to say I still love him, I think about him every day. The two and a half years I spent with him did not go to waste. What once hurt me now helps me because I learned from my mistakes and now know how to live my life. I hope one day he will quit the drugs and straighten out his life. I only want the best for him. Good luck to any who are in a situation similar to this. Be careful. It’s not easy and it does take a toll on your life and your relationships with other people around you.





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Brittw said...
Jul. 16, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Kudos to you, my dear. i have put up with this for almost 2 years. I met the only man i will ever love over 4 years ago. He was clean as could be. Drugs were evil then. Idk what happened but things changed one summer. one summer when we were on a "break". We are still off and on, and hes the only person i could see myself ever growing old with. But i want him to actually get to that point. Its never been as bad as your situation. Its only been marijuana, pills and alcohol but that can be such a ... (more »)
 
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