The day my head fell apart

March 26, 2010
By , Whangarei, New Zealand
The cool, refreshing water throws itself at my face with high pressure while thundering out of the old, disintegrating shower head. It feels superior although I don’t feel as if I am clean. I hear loud, exhilarating music, perhaps it’s coming from the custom-made subwoofers owned by the rugby loving gangsters across the street. Why is it that all the teenagers and young adults that live down my street love using drugs so much? I don’t understand the benefits of using those mind altering, manipulating substances, I mean not anymore. I find myself staring into the eyes of the stoned. The more I gaze, the more I get sent back to where it all began.

Daylight was slowly vanishing as I looked out of my twelve year old window with rusting edges. I dashed through all of the dirty, unwashed clothes on the ground to quickly get to the dish-free kitchen. The fridge door creaked as I opened it, I would usually have a salad sandwich but since I was in such a hurry I just grabbed a big, wrinkly carrot. My eyeballs dragged themselves down to my scratched up digital watch. “4:45pm!” I shouted, “Only fifteen minutes left”. I sprang into action trying to get my hair straight enough to appear acceptable. With the clock ticking, I instantly grabbed my keys and fled out of the door without caring if it was locked. I sprinted up the hill while trying to look at the time, I knew where I was going but other people thought differently. I was almost over the hill when I saw two girls staring at me; I was trying to figure out why their eyes were focused on me when suddenly: “Jeepers!” I tripped over on a rock and that had the girls laughing at me. By the time I was halfway to my destination it was already 5pm, I tried running even faster but struggled due to my unfitness. As I hurried, I noticed that there was hardly anybody walking within the streets and that made me a little curious for some reason.

I finally arrived at the house which I thought looked like a modern style castle. Harry answered the slide-open door with a slight grin on his face; I could tell that he was taking his time to get ready because he was stuffing his fat face with nachos. My good friend Lloyd was already there, although he was puffing quite rapidly. We sat down to play on the X-box while Harry was getting ready, His little brother Jake came out with a few racing games in his hand. Lloyd got annoyed with Jake after he kept hogging the controller and so an argument began, I just sat there not really caring about anything or anyone. I absolutely knew that this would be a night that I would not forget; it would be an everlasting memory. Twenty minutes passed, all of us except for Harry were enjoying playing the X-box. Harry was coming and going repeatedly like a dog trying to chase a cat, probably because he had an important role for tonight’s event. As the clock rolled around to 5:40pm, we said our farewell to Harry’s family and departed from the house. As we roamed along the abandoned foot path, Harry and Lloyd made a turn for some reason. Harry entered the severely tagged gas station while Lloyd and I stood out the front. My shoulder was aching after I walked into the side of the gas station wall; I was getting quite distracted by the little red head boy staring at me while sitting on his bike.

Six minutes had gone by; Harry came out with a can of Fanta and a lighter. I wasn’t sure why he brought those items, he said he was thirsty and so we continued walking. Lloyd took the drink from Harry and had a sip; I refused since my stomach was bloated from that giant carrot. We wandered through the empty car park of a gigantic shopping centre 10 meters from the gas station; the sun still seemed to be as bright as it was when I arrived at Harry’s house. Instead of taking the planned route, we took a detour into the thick, green forest by a local golf course; Lloyd was holding the can of drink upside down so that all of the drink poured out onto the ground. After drying my shoes, Harry pulled out a pen and started piecing a few holes in the can. “What the heck is he doing?” I thought to myself. A few old fashioned golfers saw us and thought we looked a little suspicious; Harry and Lloyd began jogging a little with me following anxiously at the back. “Come on dude!” yelled Harry, I obeyed as commanded. As we travelled deeper into the dark, bug-infested forest, I started to get a little nervous but the guys told me that this would probably happen. We got to a tiny area, incrusted in the forest, it was Harry’s usual spot as there were little bits of rubbish and broken lighters scattered all around this area. Harry was getting everything ready when Lloyd asked me: “Are you sure you want to do this?” “Yeah dude, you do have a choice you know” said Harry as he butted in. My heart started pounding so rapidly that I could hear it beating. I took about a minute to think it over; I knew that if I did it then I might get respected more. A little while later I responded with: “Let’s do it!”
Without a moment to spare, Harry grasped both the newly brought lighter and the bizarre looking Fanta can in his left hand. He then reached into his partly ripped jeans and tugged a little, a teeny bag about the size of a modern USB drive popped out. I was surprised at how much stuff this microscopic bag contained, “So this stuff is strong then,” I mumbled. Lloyd nodded with a strange look on his face, he was worried. As Harry freed the substance from the seal-tight packet, a huge scent was emitted into the open air. I began examining this clump of green, herb-like stimulant. I noticed that it had extremely small white spots all over it, “weird” I thought to myself. Harry placed a pinch of dope on top of the demented Fanta can while talking me through how to use it. Lloyd helped a bit and kept mentioning to me that I don’t have to do it. The time had now come, this would be a night that I would not forget, and it would be an everlasting memory. Without warning, Harry fastened the cold metal Fanta can to my moistureless, pink lips and said: “Relax, exhale then when I say, take a deep breath in and hold it.” I was ready; Harry took hold of the lighter then immediately ignited the weed. As I took in my first gasp, it felt as if battery acid had been spilt in the back of my throat. There was a short moment of silence then suddenly a huge cloud of white, foul-smelling smoke shot out of my puffing mouth followed by a lot of painful, blustering coughing. My lungs began expelling massive amounts of gross, chunky mucous, it frightened me a little. I tried to get rid of it on the flaky trees around me while Harry and Lloyd had a few puffs.

“How is it?” asked Lloyd, “I don’t feel any different” I said in reply. I turned back for a few more delightful puffs; it made me feel substantial to break the rules for once. The more I smoked, the more I got used to the technique used in the practise of using drugs, that session actually taught me a lot. The time was now 6:15pm but the sun was still there due to daylight saving, we disposed of our litter in the surrounding bushes and prepared to carry on to our final destination. All of us developed an urged to smile for some strange reason, Harry explained that this was all part of the drug so I felt relieved and began skipping along the dusty trail while displaying a large mass of laughter. “I see light!” Harry said as the end of the long trail approached. “The golfers may be onto us,” Lloyd said in concern. They were staring at us for quite some time, “This way guys” Harry said while constantly chuckling. I now understood why people loved doing drugs so much, why did they even make it illegal? Lloyd kept looking back at me to see if I was still following, I saw life at a new perspective and what a feeling that was. A new world emerged from out of nowhere, I felt like there was nothing that I couldn’t do and I was willing to make the most of it. We were so close to the footpath when it suddenly hit me, it took over my entire body. It affected almost everything, my brain and also my nervous system. My happy grin almost instantaneously changed itself into a confused, freaked out look. As Lloyd turned around again to check if I was following, he almost slipped backwards onto the stony, hard concrete while his smile turned into a sad, curious frown because of the expression on my face. Lloyd slowly walked towards me a little asking if I were alright, I could hear him talking but couldn’t process a response. Harry stopped to help out as well but Lloyd had more care in his strong heart for me.

I collapsed, Lloyd accelerated to me, Harry also. They both kept trying to get a physical response from me, my heart was pounding at an enormous speed, and I could feel a lot of pressure in the back of my head. A car came passed the corner of the street, Harry waved his hands in need of assistance, Lloyd told me to try and get up but I couldn’t even move a limb at this stage. The car stopped, the window rolled down and a rugged-looking, middle aged man said: “What’s up?” Harry and Lloyd explained everything to the man when suddenly, “Hey guys” I said in a soft, exhausted voice. I could finally speak, the man, being a current dope user told Harry and Lloyd to take me home. Lloyd kept asking me: “Do you want to go to the emergency room?” “Don’t bother, just take him home and get some food in him”, said the experienced man as he interfered. The man drove off; Harry and Lloyd helped me up. “So we’re not going to the party then”, I mumbled. “No dude, I think we’ve all been on a wild enough adventure for today”, Harry said. I think that Harry and Lloyd were in more shock than I was at that time, especially Lloyd. My dad was called and arrived shortly after, “what happened to my son?” he said as he got out of the car. “Oh, he had a few too many drinks at the party” Harry said with shifty eyes. All three of them helped me into the car, my dad dropped off Harry and Lloyd back at their houses. As for me, I just leaned back against the seat of the car, struggling to hold my head up. “Home”, I thought to myself.

The time was 7:03pm, the sun had now set. As I lay on my bed there were so many strange thoughts flying through my mind all at once. Had this been the path that I had wished to take? Would I ever be the same again? Thoughts of depression and suicide now fill my mind, as do new knowledge and experience. A week had passed and the effects had now worn off. I would never forget how those two good friends of mine helped me so much that day; I’d make it my life mission to find a way to repay them. As I went for a shower, the cool refreshing water threw itself at my face with high pressure as it does, I found myself staring into the eyes of the stoned for a little while longer and then I got dressed.





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