I wish

I wish I had a family. A peaceful environment called home. But no, I don’t. I guess there must be a reason why God lets me be beaten up, screamed at, and called very rude names. I wish this would have never happened to me, but my life just had to be so f*ed over like this. I wish my dad would call me his little princess and play volleyball with me in the garden where my mom and my older sister prepared a nice lunch on the table. I wish my mom would explain to me what periods are and how you handle them..instead I need to type into google “what is a tampon” and scroll through the 42,61900 results. I wish my older sister would teach me how to apply the make up on my face to have some colour on it, but instead Youtube tutorials teach me how make up can hide the scars on my face. My face. It fakes a smile, because I know I can’t ever get help no matter how hard I try. I wish my boyfriend lived in the same continent, so that I wouldn’t wait for 9 hours before I have someone tell me that I am not a ‘stupid, fat ass ahole b****” Instead, he will call me beautiful, make me cry out of happiness, hug me tight and not slap my face hard. But most of all, I want to be alive. Which I sadly, won’t ever be again.