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China: The Land of the Oppressed and the Home of Extreme Dog Eating

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Our blessed country today values the freedoms as dictated by our Constitution and, as is our duty, honor them through our many acts of toleration and benevolence: tactfully writing in “under God” to indoctrinate the poor atheists, moving the Japanese to nice little camps in the picturesque deserts of Manzanar, conducting friendly conversations with Communists during the Red Concern. We have been globally known as the go-between, the compromiser, the sympathetic friend; even as a dedication to our love of equality and hate for discrimination, American poetess Emma Lazarus wrote that we welcome “the wretched refuse of your teeming shore”. Of course, as the notoriety of China comes to light, we Americans are shocked by the nation’s absolute disregard for animal and its imperialistic and capitalistic endeavors.

Have you ever enjoyed a tasty bit of braised Labrador, toasted to rosy perfection, skewered on a stick like a kebab? If you recoiled, you join like-minded Americans horrified that the Chinese enjoy dog as a major staple of their diet.

“I saw this one video and’ there were a whole pile of dogs and they cooked them alive an’ their skins were off an’ they were still cryin’. It was the saddest thing; I’m never gonna eat Chinese food again,” said one student attending Rancho Bernardo High. The silent message of media should never be ignored, since it is rarely fabricated to serve a different purpose---after all, Mikayla Maroney can travel through time and space to be unimpressed at the same double rainbow hyped about some two years ago. The mere notion of eating dog clearly shows Chinese disregard for animal rights, in a world where eating sentient creatures is unheard of. Cows, for example, have been specially designed for consumption, devoid of any cultural significance, fed with corn until bloated, sequestered into cozy spaces, brought to the slaughterhouse to be manufactured into the occasional beef kebab and McDonald patties (at least that’s what Morgan Spurlock told us in Super Size Me). Horse meat is also fine, since Napoleon probably ate some bits during the winters at Stalingrad. Although Ikea has been under fire for horse meat in its meatballs, it was not chastised for animal cruelty---after all, we’ve used horses as pack animals, ready transportation, and starvation food. Since the ubiquity of dog meat in Chinese food products is thus known, Americans should be wary when eating at Panda Express: there is no telling that the orange chicken slathered in MSG sauce is something much more sinister.

The Chinese are also well-known for not only its kung pao dog, but also for its glutting of the American market. Chinese products, with their shoddy quality, have unfairly dominated the America market. Many customers have clamored for Chinese exports to be minimized, believing that such reliance on Chinese-made products is detrimental to our economic state, with America now playing second fiddle to the powerful Chinese monetary giant. Because of the inundation of Chinese goods, the American markets should start exporting products from other countries that are in need of economic help. Pretty sure Italy is in dire straits---why not bring in some more Valentino and Gucci wares into the clothing stores, where the “Made in China” tags on the majority of the items shamefully broadcast our reliance on Chinese goods? Even the poor would delight over the modestly-priced Fendi purses and the Miu Miu shoes; if they cannot afford them, being naked is a better show of patriotism than buying those Chinese-made clothes.

China has also desired not only to conquer the economic sphere of the world, but also to extend its fingers over the Pacific. Currently, it has been feuding with Japan over islands in the East China Sea. U.S. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta has been planning on convincing the Japanese government that America will lend full support to the Japanese, despite the historical friction between these two countries; but after America dropped the atomic bomb on two cities, placed a bunch of them in concentration camps, and called them a few nasty names, all should be forgiven and forgotten. Of course, the actions of America as an active participant in aiding the underdog should be lauded; imperialistic adventures of an already powerful country should be stopped. China is not justified in its invasion of Japanese territories; although Japan invaded China during World War II, the Chinese were simply placed under a different ruler, perhaps even more civilized than the ones the country previously had. The Rape of Nanking has been repeatedly denied by many in Japan, and certainly the conquerors would know best. Although many may point out American hypocrisy through its former ownership of the Philippines, Cuba, Puerto Rico, and other minor country-islands, America has been more of the caretaker of these poor nations; for example, it implemented the Teller Amendment in 1898 to watch over the people of Cuba with a group of nice Americans with guns.

“I’ve heard that some of the Chinese live in cages,” confirmed a Korean high school junior. Such a statement exemplifies the knowledge of the lack of human rights in China, decried by many Americans. As the land of the free, the United States has been repeatedly shocked by tales of students getting run over by tanks in the Tiananmen Square, people jailed for speaking out against the Chinese government, and women being degraded because of their sex. Of course, no such events have occurred in the history of the United States. The Bonus Army had been simply sprinkled with gunfire as a stern reminder that the demand for veteran compensation is unimportant during the Great Depression. Blacks had been stripped of civil rights, hung from trees, ignored in protests, but the American government never ran over anyone in enormous tanks. Chinese governmental regulation is unnecessarily strict as well; at least America had justification to incarcerate communists and traitors (including former presidential candidate Eugene V. Debs) of the American public; desperate times call for desperate measures. The misogyny of Chinese society is absolutely baffling; women in American achieved suffrage and equality after only a few decades of work; even though women in the workplace are still getting paid a few dollars less than men to this day, they are in considerably better condition than women in China, who are usually care for one child and sometimes stay home to boss around their husband. Furthermore, although no cages have been sighted in Chinese provinces, the fact that some are confined like animals in a zoo is completely acceptable due to the typical Chinese governmental treatment of their people. At least cardboard boxes are more comfortable.

Meanwhile, a trip to the streets of Shanghai reveals a city bustling with everyday ruckus. Gnarled old men ride their bikes, their leather sandals cracked with use. Pretty young teenagers clutch iPhones, taking pictures with their friends and texting a lover. Garrulous market women, dressed in sunbaked floral prints stretched precariously over ample stomachs gabble cheerfully as they barter for fresh vegetable. Young, old, short, tall---the Chinese go about their business as if no issues lay festering in these well-trodden streets. Somewhere, there are soldiers readying to go to battle with the tiny country of Japan. Somewhere, men and women are living in cages. And somewhere, perhaps around the bend, there might be a whimpering dog, waiting to be roasted in the Chinese fires of savagery and sold as the daily special of orange chicken.



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